Life — November 29, 1894 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: “ARE you the man who painted that ‘ere picture of * Moses in the Bull- rushes ?" asked a countryman of an artist, who had recently startled the town by an exhibition of oil paintings. “Yes,” replied the artist. “ Allright; then I want you to paint my father." “Certainly, if he gives me a few sittings.” “Can't do it; he's dead.” wet me have a photograph of him.” “Can't do that, neither. He never had his picture taken.”” “Tam afraid, then, I must decline.” “Decline! What, for? Haven't you painted Moses? You didn't have a photograph of him, did you? No, I thought not. Well, my father ain't been dead nearly so long as Moses, you ought to know enough to paint my father.” Appreciating the situation, the artist went to work and evolved such a portrait as he thought might satisfy so original a son. “Crikey! exclaimed the art patron on seein; “That almost knocks the stuffing out of Moses ; but, —FExchange. the completed painting, say, how he has changed.” Tone ur if RUN Down, with Micwau’s Catisava, a tonic and appetizer, for exhaus- tion invites malaria, grip and disease. Avoid imitations. Genuine. Mitnav, 183 Broadway, N. Y. JeNNIE was learning to read and spell. but it_was very hard for her to remember what her teacher told her about pronounci! double letter when she came to one, She would say aa” or tee” or “tt” instead of "double a” or ‘double e "ete. Her teacher had one day drilled her considerably on this matter spelling. Shortly afterward, Jennie was called on to read, The paragraph began: "Up, up, Lucy," and Jennie read it triumphantly: ‘Double up, !"—Organizer. xe: An Irish cabin, Pat is aken the box of pills I sent yo Yes, sir, be jabers, Phave! But I don't feel any better. hasn't come off yet !"—Exchange, Doctor has just called. “Well, Pat, Maybe the lid Customer (getting his hair cut): Didn't you nip off a piece of the ear then? Barner (reassuringly): Yes, sah, a small piece ; but not ‘nough to affect de hearin’, sah. —Exchonge. A CRUISE TO THE MEDITERRANEAN. By specially chartered steamer Friesland, Feb. 6, 1895, visiting Bermuda, Azores, Gibraltar, Malaga, Granada, Alhambra, Algiers, Cairo; seven days at Jerusalem, Beyrout, Ephesus, Constantinople, Athens, Rome. Only $525. Hotels, excursions, tees, &c., included. Organized and accompanied by F.C. CLaxx, ex-United States Vice Consul at Jerusalem, and a staff of competent assistants, Garitifty excursions to’ Europe. Ocean tickets by all lines. Send for Tourits Gazette, F.C. Cranx, Tourist Agent, 111 Broadway, New York, Official Ticket Agent, Pennsylvania R’R., & A Texas military company were out on the range recently practicing at rifle. shooting. The lieutenant in command suddenly became exasperated at the poor shooting, and, seizing a gun from one of the privates, cried angrily— “L'il show you fellows how to shoot !" Taking a long aim, and a strong aim, and an aim altogether, he fired and missed, Coolly turning to the private who owned the gun, he said— “That's the way you shoot.” He again loaded the weapon and missed. Turning to the second man in the ranks he remarked— “That's the way you shoot.” In this way he contrived to miss about fifty or sixty times, illustrating to each soldier his personal incapacity, and finally he accidentally bit the target. “And that,” he ejaculated, handing the gun back to the private, ** I shoot."—7he Waverley. N LARGER: QUARTERS. C. H, Guild & Co., the advertising agents, whose office for several years has been in the Herald Building, have moved to No, 252 Washington, up one flight. This change was made necessary by their largely increasing business, They have over double the floor space and triple the shelf space for filing papers. ‘The new office has been fitted up with electric lig and all possible accommodations for customers and employees. Already Mr Guild has found it necessary to add three new men to his staff. The Guild agency has been successful from the start and now numbers among its patrons several of the large advertisers of the country, Their business is ably conducted and the agency enjoys an excellent reputation with its patrons and the newspapers.” With largely increased facilities Mr. Guild is able to the way place advertising business in any paper the world over. This enterprising agency makes a specialty of illustrated papers and furnish estimates free of charge.— Boston Record, Nov. 8. 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