Life — November 29, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LI JEISSORS AT NvLLvS A LAWYER was cross-questioning a negro witness in one of the justice courts the other day, and was getting along fairly well until he asked the witness what his occupa- “Tse a carpenter, sah.” What kind of a carpenter?” They calls me a jack-leg carpenter, sah.” “ What is a jack-leg carpenter?” “He is a carpenter who is not a first-class carpenter, sah.” say hVell explain fully what you understand a jack-leg carpenter to be,” insisted the ___ “Boss, I declare | dunno how ter splain any mo’ ‘cept to say hit am jes’ the same diffance twixt you an’ er fust-class lawyer."—Macon Telegraph. _ ‘THe man had informed a number of his friends that he was going down to give the editor a thumping, and his friends tried to dissuade him, because they had seen a few wrecks who had escaped, But it was no use ; he was bound to go, and they couldn't prevent him. They waited across the street, however, with an ambulance to receive him when the call was finished. In about fifteen minutes he came out without even his neck- tie mussed and not a scratch visible, ** Hello!” they said in surprise. “Yes he was.” “« But you didn’t see him 2" Yes, I did, and I slapped his jaws and walked all over him.” Come off—what are you giving us?” raight goods," “Didn't he make any resistance ?”” Not a bit.” “What was the matter with him?” Nothing. I had one of his papers in my pocket containing an insurance policy good for $1,000 if I were killed, and tor $20 a week if I were injured, I showed it to him, and he didn’t raise a finger."—St. Lout's Star. “He wasn't there, was he?” FE: AN old Welsh tailor being sued by the rector for tithes, and being told these were fq preaching in church, said, ** I've nothing to give thee, for 1 never come to hear thee,” **Oh, but you could come whenever you like,” said the rector, ‘the doors are alway ‘ext day the parson threatened further proceedings, whereupon the tailor took bi a bill for forty shillings. For what do | owe you this money 2” ‘or tailorin - For tailoring 1" exclaimed the rector, *¢ why I never was tailored by you in Oh, but thou might’st have come and been tailured any day thou did'st lik like thine, are always open." —Exchange. Grocer: Well, my little boy, what will you have ? + Fifteen cents’ worth of molasses.” GROCER (as he hands the pitcher over the counter): Where “In the pitcher. I put it there, so as to be sure not to lose it your money ? Exchange. THe unfortunate young man had moved his hat from place to place in the pew, b had to move it again. His pew scemed particularly popular, and there was abiding spot for that piece of headgear, which happened to be a shining silk hat of ts most approved shape. Finally, when he was tightly wedged into one corner and the seemed to be nothing for him to do but to hold the hat tenderly on his lap for the rest the service, he had an inspiration. The pew in front was still empty. He leaned 0 gently deposited his cherished head covering on the cushioned seat and gave himself ¢ to pious reflection : By and by the owners of that pew made-a late entrance. The youth gazed at th with interest. A pretty young blonde led the way, and in looking at her fair ha blue eyes he forgot his hat. She, conscious of his gaze, blushed properly. Then she down, and there was a crushing, grinding sound. She shot up again, and so dide young man, And together tney surveyed the ruins of that shining silk hat, while choir vociferously sang ‘ Cover my defenseless head."—Exchange. A LITTLE girl was overheard talking to her doll, whose arm had come off, expos the sawdust stuffing. * You dear, good, obedient dolly, | knew I had told you to che your food fine, but I'didn’t think that you would chew it so fine as that." —Exchange. said Blinks senior, as he led his youngster out into Now, you young scamp,' woodshed, and prepared to give him a dressing, T'll teach you what is wh: “No, pa,” replied the incorrigible, ** you teach me which is swite For sate by al Xewslealers Jo Great Britain. The Inter. national “News” Comi Hream’s Building, Chancery Lani London, 0. England, Aaxsre. ical EUROPEAN AGENTS—Memra. Brentano, $7 Aveauo ¢ Opera, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 "Clarastram, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and 6 Irritations of the SKIN and SCALP Odors from Perspiration Speedy Rellet by Using Packer’s Tar Soap “*It Soothes while it Cleanses.” Medical and Surg. Reporter, Phila, CELEBRATED HATS, —AnD— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fitth Avenue, bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. (B-Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. HITCHINGS & CO., Mtontlcet tens! Asobitenes and Bullars Established go Years. Deo bem Oonservatories, Greenhouses, Palm Houses, e with Our Patent Iron Frame Construction. Plans and Estimates of Cost and Illustrated Catalogues Sent on Application. LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY 914 Chestnut St, Pia. GREENHOUSE HEATING axo VENTILATING APPARATUS. 283 MERCER ST., N.Y. DRESS GOODS. A Shipment of Novelties We have imported a limited collection of Dress Goods of the choicest order. They rep- resent the latest styles that have appeared in Paris. Extra choice dark shades in the fashionable Crepons—a single piece ot each. Puffed Mohair Crepons, com- posed of Wool and Mohair; these have a handsome Silky appearance, London Tailor Styles, in checked Tweeds and Coverts. Plaid Cloths for Coat and Cape linings. Black and Colored Perfo- rated Cloths; the same in White tor Opera Cloaks. Our popular Double-Sale, on both floors, goes on for another week. Quantities of our own fine dress goods, at reduced prices. James McCreery & Co.. Broadway and 11th 8t., NEW YORE. Rich Jewelry. A large showing of jewel pieces—exquisite conc and finish. —at reta Spautpine & Co. (iNcorroraTeD.) State and Jackson Sts., Chit 36 Ave. de l'Opera, Paris. Our ‘ Suggestion Book" mailed Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the comicbooks.com