Life — November 22, 1894 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE INGRATITUDE. Pythias: COME ALONG, DAMON, SHE AIN'T WORTH A SECOND THOUGHT! Damon: TO THINK SHE SHOULD TREAT ME LIKE THIS! Wuy, I STARTED HER IN BUSINESS; I STOLE THAT BASKET FOR HER WOT SHE GOES A BEGGIN’ WITH, Pythias (with disgust): BAW! WIMMIN 15 INGRATES; THEY MAKE ME TIRED! Te South Carolina Presbytery, at a recent meeting, received into its membership, after examination, the Rev. James Woodrow, D. D., who has been under a cloud for some time on account of certain views about the descent of man which he is supposed to have entertained. He was asked if he believed the Holy Scriptures contained in the Word of God, and answered that he did. Further : “Do you believe that Moses wrote the Pentateuch ?” Most of it, sir.” What portion do you think he did not write?” * The account of his own death."— Argonaut. A CoxFebeRate soldier, after the battle of Antietam, and when his regiment on the retreat, threw his musket on the ground, seated himself by the roadside, . exclaimed with much vehemenc “*T'll be dashed if I walk another step! I'm broke down | I can’t doit!" Ang sat there the picture of despair. “Git up, man” exclaimed the captain, “don't you know the Yankees are folio s. They will get you sure.” * Can't do it!" he replied.‘ I'm done for. I'll not walk another step!" The Confederates passed along over the crest of a hill and lost sight of their dejected comrade. In a moment there was a fresh rattle of musketry anda renewed crash of sta Suddenly he appeared on the crest of the hill moving along like a hurricane and {oll by acloud of dust. | As he dashed past his captain, that officer yelled : “Hello! thought you wasn’t going to walk any more. “Thunder,” replied the soldier. ** You don’t call this walking, do you !"— iar Rei Munnac’s Ctisava, a reliable tonic from the assayed true bark, Shun imitat ing merely 14 cts. worth of cinchonine to the pint. Mitwav, 183 Broadway, 3 Tue doctor had told Farmer Chawhay that his hours were numbered. good old man beckoned the physician to his side. ** Doc,” said he, “there is somethin’ I orto tell you "fore I go.” “+ All right,” answered the doctor. “«Itis only this, doc ; I been a sort of hippercrit for these last twenty years. Aly women folks has give me credit for bein’ so true to Sarah Ann's memory that I pe marrit again, an’ I've allowed ‘em to think that was the reason, Truth is, them fifteen years I lived with Sarah Ann.gimme all the experience in marrit life tht wanted, an’ that's the reason I stayed a Widower."—Cincianaté Tribune. INVESTMENTS IN REAL ESTATE, HANOVER REALTY GUARANTY CO. Capital, $25,000.00, 92 Liberty St., NEW YO A Few days since a woman entered a certain hat store. She had in tow a tor about ten years of age: That is, his body was ten years old, but his face looked lie man of thirt “T want a cheap hat for this boy. I don't care what it is, so long as it is cheap” The hatter pulled over his stock and finally presented to the woman a hat wer about 50 cents. guess this will satisfy you,” he said, ‘It is go cents." “All right; U'll take it.” T wanted something for the boy to have fits in,” and he she went out.—Exchange. One of the two, by way of advertising himself, cut his hair in the most fs manner, according to the latest fashion plate; the other, on the contrary, cut hisct most clumsy way imaginable, The first customer who entered his shop did not take him to task about it. How in the world, being yourself a barber, do you have your hair so badly ca? + Why, sir, the reason is simple enough. I cannot possibly cut am obliged to have recourse to my colleague over the way, and he is such a duffer ** And I suppose you cut his in return ?”” “Ofcourse. And you can judge for yourself whether he oughta’t to be satisfie Bankers, Lawyers, Doctors, Actors, Fin Bromo=Seltzer Indispensable for Nervousness. Mental Exhaustion or Brain Fatigue, Headache, Sick Stomach, Sleeplessness. Clubmen, The Social Queen and Giddy Youth AN OLO-TIME REMEDY =||!N A MODERN FORM. | ‘The Ideat HOTEL: America a: VENDOME: Ripans Tabules. k Ba: Common- Y's Prd BOSTON weaitr'st. DYSPEPSIA CURE: . & Co. E C. H. GREENLEar & Co. 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The BON MARCHE has no Branch Business or Agen! for the sale of its goods, and begs to caution its customers against all tradespeoP making use of its name. The BON MARCHE premises are the largest and the best organized it the World and form one of the most remarkable sights In PARIS. comicbooks.com