Life — November 15, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LI AT SEISERS AT NULLS Talking about sleight-of-hand, the most mysterious trick I ‘The man wasn't a professional either, Cotoset Kaixtuck : ever saw was ina little town down in Kentucky but just a bright young fellow who had a genius for such things. He took a glass of water and held it up belore us all, and then we threw a big tablecloth over him, “In two minutes he threw off the cloth—and there was the glass empty ; yes, sir, not a drop in it. FRIEND: Perhaps he drank it. Cotonet Kaintuck : By Jove! Maybe he did. Never thought of it. Ex. * HaVes'T you got anything solid to eat 2" said a traveler, discontentedly eyeing the profusion of pies and small cakes on the counter of a restaurant at one of the way stations. Shall I give you some beans ?” said the proprietor, with his most persuasive smile. traveler assented, and making short work of them, asked, ‘* How much 2” “« Twenty-five cents,” was the bland response. “What !" cried the traveler.“ Twenty-five cents for a spoonful of cold beans ?* The proprietor continuing firm in his price, the man paid it and departed. But late that afternoon a telegram was handed in to the restaurant keeper, for which he paid twenty-fivecents. It ran thus : “* Don’t you think your price a little high on beans ?”—Stlver Cross. Asa regiment was on the march to Gettysburg, some of the soldiers stepped out ot the ranks and * confiscated” a couple of geese, and at the suggestion of an ingenious fellow and a natural ‘ bummer," one of the drummers unheaded his instrument and put the captured birds in the drum. Shortly afterward the colonel came along, and noticing the boy shirked his usual drum whacks, rode up to him and said : “Why don’t you beat that drum ** Colonel,” said the startled musician, ‘tI want to speak to you.” The colonel drew still closer to him, and bending down his head, said, ‘* Well, what have you to say 2” The drummer whispered, ‘* Colonel, I've got a couple of geese in here.” The colonel straightened’ up and gravely said, ‘ Well, if you're sick and can't play, you needn't,” and then rode on. It is needless to add that the colonel had roast goose that night.—War Relic. ERR: THe captain of a large steamer was once filling up his crew for a long voyage, whe a seaman came up and said “T want to sail with you, sir.” “« All right, my man,” replied the captain, * P, and O., sir, to Australia “What countryman ?” “An Oirishman, “Well, you must get a character.” “ Where have you sailed before ? was the ready response. The discharge was obtained, and as the Irishman was presenting it, another seamay] came up and said he wanted to join, “What line were you on before ?” asked the captain. Cunard, sir. What countryman 2” “+ English, your honor. “Allright. Go forward.” Shortly after, as the two were swilling the decks in a heavy sea, the Englishman wa, swept overboard, bucket and all. the captain's cab “Come responded the officer to his rap. moved, Paddy finished his job and then went uJ ** What's up now ?” “Do you remember Bill Smith, the Englishman and Cunarder 2” queried Pat. “Certainly, my man,” “You took’him without a character. ‘+L believe so, What of that 2” “ He's gone overboard wid your bucket."—Chicago News Record. “THe bicycle,” remarked the drummer for a big cycle works in Boston, institution, and point came under my notice recently, Il supersede the horse in many instances, but not in all, Uwas in Blue Grass Kentucky, where the r are superb, and in the course of my visits t6 agents, I ran across a farmer who about five miles from town, and got talking to him on the subject. He was rathe progressive, and conceded that the bicycle possessed many advantages over the h red feed, toil “Why then,” said I, care, shoeing, and a lot more things, and was a good deal speedier. don’t you get a bicycle ?” “Well, there's only one thing that prevents me,” he id, with an apologetic grit “+ when a man comes to town on Saturday, and starts home in the evening just corned y enough not to know his way, his horse w shape, but the bi ‘on Saturdays.” take him back to his family in fairly g ‘cle ain't made that can do that, and I'ma man that goes to tow “Of course,” concluded the drummer, “after that I had mighty little show for argument."— Detroit Free Press. For sale by ll Newadealers io Great Britain. | The Inter gational “News” Corn reams Building, Chancery, Lase, iSndon, EC, Hagiand, hours Eunorgay Acate—Memra Brentano, 37 Aveoue de lOpera, 2 Paris; Saarbach's ‘ News ras, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzeriand. 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