Life — October 11, 1894 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE- Who should it be? It was.a great honor, and at first it appeared to the committee as one that any citizen, no matter how eminent, would gladly accept for the dignity of the place and the preéminence of being universally regarded as the first of his kind. 233 To sit on an upholstered easy chair for eight hours daily for a fort- night, no one could say washard work. All that was to be required of the Prime Exponent was that he should merely sit and be looked at. Some of the committee wanted it inserted in the agreement that he should answer when spoken to, but this clause was finally stricken out as irrevelant, since a man really noble would naturally answer civil questions. At last they agreed who it should be. Why, Chauncey M. Depew of course. They all went ina body to acquaint him with the proposed honor. He listened to what they had to say very smilingly, and thanked them very cordially ; but he said they must excuse him, his time was not his own, And who do you think it was ? It was in vain the committee expatiated on the advantages of the position, Mr, Depew was obdurate. “In fact, gentlemen,” said he after much pressing, “1 may as well be frank with you; I have a feeling that to sit as Prime Exponent, as you propose, might have a tendency to make me appear ridiculous.” The committee didn’t like this, But what could they say? It was true. The position was next tendered to Russell Sage. Mr. Sage said he had no sort of objection to sitting—he did that daily on several boards —nor was he averse to being ridiculous. ‘It is simply a question,” said he, ‘ of the rate per diem. What do you propose to pay ?” And when the committee talked of honor and fame, Mr. Sage’s face grew bland and wreathed into smiles; but he said he really failed to catch their meaning. If those were all the emoluments he must beg leave to decline. So that fell through, To one after another of New York's most eminent citizens the place was offered, only to meet with declinations more or less civilly worded. Mr. Croker declared that money couldn't tempt him ; and it seems. generally understood that none could now. I cannot begin to tell all that passed. Probably nothing passed then. So it went, There appeared nothing before the committee but a void. They had the position, but what is position without an occupant ? —position only without length, breadth or thickness, You see the point ? Then some one suggested Mr. John L. Sullivan. The idea was seized upon with avidity. The sub-committee wrote to the general manager a few days after an interview with the famous ex-champion. He wrote from St. Luke's Hospital to say that he should report in person, but was detained in consequence of the strong reluctance expressed by Mr. Sullivan to his proposition. He expected, he said, to be out in the course of week or so, ‘unless erysipelas set in.” Mr. Sullivan,” he added, ** would probably call at the rooms of the com- mittee before he did.” The honor of having so distinguished a visitor—or something, set the directors in a flutter. ‘They decided at once to take a vacation, ‘sin order,” as it was entered on the minutes, ‘to have the rooms cleaned out." Perhaps this was just as well; it probably saved Mr. Sullivan the trouble. This is the quandary they are in—they can get no one willing to take the place of Prime Exponent; that is, no one fully qualified. Some think that the next highest man on the list might do in an emergency. But when I tell you that this was Mr. Ward McAllister you can see for yourself how utterly inappropriate it would be. Seriously, can any of you recommend a suitable person ?—one, I mean, who would be willing to fill the place with credit to the com- munity. It might not be too late even now. And yet I fear the ideal can never be realized, chiefly that there seems to be no general agreement as to what sort of man is in all respects of the case first and best—the prime exponent of humanity. Hudor Genone, comicbooks.com