Life — September 13, 1894 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: AT SEIS§ORS AT NvLLv§ “Dip you ever hear of the strange fish found in New Zealand that lives upon frost ?” « traveler of another, at the Morton House recently. ;, of course not. But in Michigan everything relating to fish ‘goes,’ I am told, sogoor with your lying.” 5 “It comes out of the sea and eats the frosts early in the morning. At times it be- comes stranded, when it can be caught. It is impossible to take it when in the water. It (great delicacy and sells for $1.25 per pound.” Now, old man, it is my turn. Fancy willdo most anything. A colored gentleman ja Kentucky went on a visit to another colored gentleman. Before going in to dinner he fastened his mule to a crib filled with popcorn. While the owner of the beast was absent thecrib caught fire and burned down. The heat made the com pop, and when the whit fakey corn began falling around the mule, he imagined it was snow, and froze to death. —Muchigan Artist, asked 0 AVoUNG man, who looked every inch the bridegroom, stood in the rotunda of the Great Northern the other day, telling a friend of the manner of his proposal to his bride. She had known of his wild ways and fondly hoped to reform him through marriage. “after | had popped the question and she had accepted me,” he said, ** I at once began totalk about the wedding.‘ We will go away somewhere by ourselves, my dear’ I said ; ere will be no flourish, no cards, no ceremony '—here she interrupted me, and, with a dignified sweep of her arm, declared: ‘Mr, —, I shall certainly insist upon a "—Chicago Times. Tue following affidavit was filed in Court of Common Pleas in Dublin in 1822: od this deponent further saith, that on arriving at the house of the said defendant, in the County of Galway aforesaid, for the purpose of personally serving him with said writ, he, the said deponent, knocked three several times at the outer, commonly led the hall door, but could not obtain admittance ; whereupon this deponent was soceeding to knock’a fourth time, when a man, to this deponent unknown, holding in fishandsa musket or blunderbuss’ loaded with balls or slugs, as this deponent has since heard and verily believes, appeared at one of the upper windows of the said house, and peeeating said musket or blunderbuss at this deponent, threatened * that if said deponent did not instantly retire, he would send his (the deponent's) soul to hell,’ rwAich this deponent verily believes ht would have done, had not this deponent precipitately exaped."—Argonaut. A MEMORABLE instance of presence of mind was the adventure of a certain Desaugiers at the time of a popular uprising in Paris, when the people took possession of the Tulleries, The hero of the incident sagely acted upon the theory that a poor excuse is better than none, and sometimes better than a better one would be. He was an inquisitive person, and, regardless of danger, he hastened to the Tuileries at midnight to see what was going on. At the gate he was stopped by two revolutionists of ominous appearance. ‘Why do you not wear a cockade citizen? Where is your cockade 2” they asked. ‘A mob gathered about him and demanded fiercely,“ Citizen, where is your cockade ?” Desaugiers took off his hat, turned it around and’ around, looked at it on all sides, and then said in a tone of mild surprise : “Citizens, it is strange, very strange! Lippincott's. I must have lefe it on my night-cap."— “Wues Lwas a-livin’ back East," said the man with the ginger beard, ** Lowned one of these here little woolly Scotch tarriers that was one of the smartest animals you ever see. Funny thing: One day my wife was readin’ in the paper that woolly dogs wasn't goin’ to be in fashion that summer, and she says to me, in a jokin’ sort of a way, ‘I guess we will haf to sell Dagobert '—that was his name—‘ an’ git a nice, fashionable, smooth- haired dog.’ ‘All right,’ says I, still keepin’ up the joke. ‘Now what do you suppose that there dog went and did?" “ Mebbe he committed suicide,” ventured the grocer. their feelings hurt so bad that they killed theirselves.”” Not much he didn’t. Didn't T jist tell you he had a whole lot of sense? He jest snaked a quarter out'n the box where we kept the small change to pay the milkman and the newspaper boy, and went down to the barber shop and had his have cut—that's what he did."—/ndianapolis Journal. “have heard of dogs havin BURGLAR: Don't shoot ! HouseHoLvER (angrily): Why shouldn't I shoot? You came here to rob, and if necessary, to murder. + “Just so. T ought to be shot, and as you've got the drop on me, you can do it, but for your own sake I advise you not to." «Why not, pray 2?” “First, the shot will call the police, who will rush in, smash whichever head they find up, and that will be yours ; second, you'll be hurried off to a filthy cell, full of disease and bedbugs, and kept there until the day for trial; third, although you will be declared not guilty, of course you will have to pay the lawyers. Better let_me carry off what I've got and sleep in peace and comfort. I'll thank you for your purse.” Wea bltres takeit. Burglars come cheaper than lawyers and policemen." —Vew York Veekly. For sale by all Newslealers in Great Rritaln. The Inter- tational News Company, Hream's Buliding, Chancery Lane, Londoa, EB. C., England, Aoxwrs. = -onormax x AGuETsMerre. Rreatano, $7 aveoue de TOpera, i Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 Clarmstrasee, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switeeriand. Sterling Silverware the best production of both continents finely wrought by skilled smiths —at retail. CopvnieNTED CELEBRATED HATS, —axo— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Pitth Avenue, bet. 224 & 234 Sts. and 18t Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. $14 Chennat 8t., Phila SB Agencies tn all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1888, Spautpine & Co., (axcorroraten.) State and Jackson Sts., Chicago. 36 Ave. de 'Opera, Paris. Our “ Suggestion Book” mailed free. Chappie: Thrown, Chollie? Cuoitte: Not a bit of it. Thought I saw a diamond stud, and got off to get it. Cuappte: But where's your horse ? CHoitte: Ob! I let him go on. He's a thoroughbred, and loves hunting so much T hadn't the heart to hold him back.—Frank Leslie's, “Waar does it mean when a prince gives a ballet-dancer a diamond necklace ?” “It probably means that he has married an American heiress."— Exchange. Ger Mitnav's Catisava, a reliable tone and appetizer prescribed by many of the best Physicians. Avoid the so-called Calisayas as fraudulent. 183 Broadway.—Ader. EWIS 6. TEWKSBORY There is as much difference between WILLIAMS’ and any other kind— as between a coarse—common laundry soap and the choicest toilet article. SHAVING STICK When next you buy a Shaving Stick— INSIST that your Druggist give you WILLIAM: he only one in beautiful leatherette case—the only stick 1a the world—making a lather that will not dry on the face while shaving. The J. B. WILLIAMS CO., London Offic Glastonbury, Ct.. U. S.A. sell St. LIFE - XXIIL, January to July, 1894. NOW READY. Vol. Bound in Maroon and Gold, Green and Gold, end Full Black. Price, $6.00. Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the world,