Life — August 30, 1894 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FAT SESERS Nt WLLK Tus old Charleston good livers were given to boasting of their wines, and some of their cellars were stored with the oldest and best. One of them, the well-known Mr. L., faid that he had $70,000 worth of wine in his cellar when his house was burned during He thought himself, and was thought to be, the best judge of wine in the State. Es ‘Atadinner party where he was a guest it was secretly arranged to bring him into disgrace in the matter of judgment, and the host sent out toa grocer’s, and for adollar, bought a bottle of wine, and had’ it. put upon the table as a specimen rare and extra- ordinary. Mr. L, pronounced it the best they had, and said : L recognize the vintage —it is 1784. There is nothing better than this in America.” ‘The shout of laughter that followed assured him that he had been sold, and the host explained that he had just procured it * round the corner.” Send for the man,” said Mr, L., ‘and let me see if this is so.”? The man soon appeared and Mr. ‘L. said to him : “ [will hold you harmless if you tell me frankly where you got that bottle of wine.” “Well,” answered the grocer, ‘if you will know, I bought it off one of your niggers."— Exchange. THE PARTING WAS PAIN. Go, Demetrius, co! YOU WILL FEI PLEA, You WILL THEN KNOW THAT Wuen THAT I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING BY YOU 1 YOU HAVE REACHED YEARS OF DISCRETION REJECTING YOUR AN ESTABLISHMENT CANNOT BE KEPT UP UPON A PIECE OF CHEWING GUM, AN ELEVATED RAILROAD TICKET, AND A TOP! REED & BARTON, sitversmitus, 37 Union Square, New York City. THE “LA REINE”’ PATTER! E call attention of all lovers of elegant and artistic Taste Siver to our La Reine Patrees illustrated here, and which we furnish in all the regular and special pieces for every variety of serving. SOLID SILVER GOODS. Embracing a full and complete assortment of articles, both use- ful and ornamental, wrought in artistic and novel designs. Girts ror Weppincs axp Birtupays. special occasions, places, and events. Decorations a specialty, Our Goods Sold by all Leading Jewelers. 34 Washington St. 925 Chestnut St. TAUNTON, MASS. CHICAGO: = = « PHILADELPHIA - oe Factories and Offices - Dah henna nnn thn tnthntond | Don’t take chances. | There is but one | BROMO SODA | and that’s the one you want for | headache, brainwork, nervous de- bility and indigestion. Everybod ner & Co., sells it. Made by W.R. War- | hiladelphia and New York, eeoooaoeaen 0 | he elevator makes high office| |! buildings possible. he Cutler Pat. Mailing Sys- tem U. S. MAIL CHUTE enables the P. O. Dep’t to collect their mail. Pot fully informed about this modern postal service, let us send you our circular. HE CUTLER MFG. CO., ROCHESTER, N.Y., tt 600 in Use. SOLE MAKERS. Tue stately steamer plowed its way through the blue waves of Lake Michigan: ‘Oh, Horace !" moaned the young bride, who a moment before had paced the deck with a smiling face and a love-lit eye, the happiest of the happy, ‘I feel so queer! Let me lean on your shoulder.” “No, dearest, don't do that!" exclaimed Horace, hastily; lean over the side of the y hicago Tribune. "s Cauisava: A wholesome ton- le for family une, for convalescents, the aged, and debilitated.’ Introduced 1830, Gen- uine at 183 Broadway,—A der. NOTICE. GENERAL (when bullet-proof uniforms be- come common): What have you learned ? Aip: Victory will soon perch upon our banners. We have filled the enemy's clothes so full of lead that they can't move another step without undressing.—New York Weekly. SUBSCRIBERS TO “LIFE” will please give old address as well as new when re- questing change of same. Souvenirs for Fine Enamel Grade Park Sterling. PURE FRENCH CLARET grown on the estate of the CHATEAU d’ARSAC, near Margaux, FRANCE. A HIGH GRADE WINE FOR CLUBS & FAMILIES. Guaranteed absolut free from admixture or A. KLIPSTEIN & CO., P.O. Box 2833, 122 Pearl St., New York. litterateur not long ago delivered a lecture before a Buffalo club, and in the course of his talk he had occasion to quote Shakespeare's lines about ‘uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," etc, At the conclusion of his address he was ap- proached by a Scotchman, who expressed his pleasure at the talk, but took occasion to say that his approbation of Shakespeare was only limited, ‘There's that bit you said about the un- easy head and crown, I dinna like it. It's muckle foolish. Now our Robbie Burns would na ha’ writ such stuff.” The lecturer was a trifle surprised, but in- quired politely why the Scot thought as he did. “Oh,” said the Scotchman, ** there's naa mon in Scotland, king or anybody else, sae foolish as to go to bed wi’ a crown on, Any mon o' sense wud hang it over a chair before turning in."—Harper's Magazine. WItuiam M, EvaRTS, being at the top of Mount’ Wash began a speech, which the crowd of with this felicitous pun: strangers; we are friends and. neighbors. We have all been born and brought up here rgonaut. For All Professions. Doctors speak in approbation Prescribe and takethe preparation Bromo-Seltzer. Lawyers take, to ease the strain Of wearing work on wearied brain, Bromo-Seltzer. The Student, writer, educator, Finds a safe exhilarator in Bromo-Seltzer. MOUNT HOLYOKE. PROSPECT HOUSE. ‘The Annex is now completed. Gusta will be re- ceived for any length of tine. The tired brato-workers can bere One night at the Tomnoddy Club, of which 'M. Calino is an honored member, a group of men were discussing the question, * Whats the best trick a man can play on his mother-in-law 2” The matter came to M. Calino for his decision. He thought it over gravely for a minute or two, and then respond: Gentlemen, the best trick that T can think of for a man to play on his mother-in- law is not to marry her daughter ?”— Youth's Companion. IT was a little New Hampshire village among the mountains, where the country store served as a post-office, circulating lib- ray, shoe store, grocery store, dry goods store and everything else combined, that a Boston lady, glancing over the books, inquired, “ Have you Browning ?” “No,” said the attendant somewhat regret- fully, and not knowing just what kind of an article Browning might be, ‘we have not.” Then, more brightly: | “We have blacking and blueing and Have a man who does whiting. We occasionally do pinking. Would any of these do ?’—AMichigan Trades- man. ; ~ comicbooks.com