Life — August 30, 1894 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Ax amusing anecdote is being told in Berlin, says the London Daily News, of eneral Meerscheidt-Hullessem, the former commander of the Guards. The General was one of the officers who dared oppose the Emperor when his ajesty gave his criticism after the manceuvers. "The Emperor, on the other hand, liked the General very much, but this did not cent him telling the truth when he made mistakes. The Emperor especially remarked jon the nervousness of the General when leading an unexpected and unprepared ver. ‘As often as the Emperor said this the General offered his resignation. . One day the Berlin garrison was suddenly alarmed and called out to manceuver on he parade ground, The Emperor again remarked that the old General had been too scied. Herr Von Meerscheidt again sent in his resignation, The same evening the Emperor met the General at an evening party. The com- sander of the Guards, a bachelor, was looking on at the dancing and conversing with the fed ladies. All at once the Emperor, behind him, slapped him on the shoulder, laughingly: ; ; your excellency ought to think of marrying, for when one is married one is juieter.” The old General smiled. Well?” asked the Emperor. No, your Majesty," was the reply. ‘oang Emperor would be too much for me.” I am too old for that, St. Louis Republic. A young wife anda As Mrs, Smith found out when, proudly conscious that “she knew a little French,” llied forth from the hotel in Paris to post a letter. 4 poste,” she exclaimed triumphantly to the first policeman she met. bien, Madame, Par tci.” . . . He politely conducted her into an office, but to her dismay it was a police station. by fright and confusion, all she could do was to pull her letter out of cried the commissaire laughingly, and he instructed the officer 1 A la poste, Going along, poor disconcerted Mrs. Smith mut- Jo take her to the nearest post office. Jered to herself : “Oh, bother genders! Who'd have a thought a police station was a gentleman and pont office a lady P Exchange. ‘Tene is a telephone in their residence, and as it is used principally by Mrs. Binks and her friends it is perhaps natural that it should be identified solely with Mrs. Binks, and that Mr. Binks—well, Mr. Binks answered when the bell rang a few nights ago, and this is the conversation that took place: “Hullo !" “Well!” s this Mrs. Binks ?” 0. I mean is this Mrs. Binks’s telephone ?”” 's the company’s “Well, is this Mrs. Binks's house 2” “Tdon't know. I'm beginning to think that perhaps it is.” “What 2” “Yes, I guess it is. Everyone seems to think it is, anyway.” “Is Mrs. Binks’s daughter there ?” “Well, who is this 2” “Oh, this is only Mrs. Binks’s husband, the father of Mrs. Binks's daughter, the man who lives in Mrs. Binks's house, and occasionally drives Mrs. Binks's horses. She got him with the house, you know.” h, she did !"* Yes, she di ‘ough on Mrs. Binks, isn’t it 2” ‘That telephone will probably be taken out of the house.—Exchange. Sue was the “lady-reporter" of the Daily Planetary System, and she was ‘doing ” her first baseball game. ‘Can you tell me, sir,” she inquired of a benign-looking old gentleman who sat next to her, ‘‘can you tell me why they have two umpires ?” “Certainly, madam,” he replied with dignified courtesy. ‘It is in order that when- ever one of them is crippled or killed by an infuriated player the game may not be un- necessarily delayed.” And that evening, as the editor lit his editorial pipe with the choicest paragraph in her copy, he assigned her to the underwear article again, to the bitter disappointment of a young man of ideas who wished to make himself famous as a reporter in that branch of journalism.—Exchange. THe funny and the fine are sometimes ludicrously blended by members of the oratorical persuasion. 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