Life, 1894-08-09 · page 11 of 14
Life — August 9, 1894 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 91 This page contains satirical dictionary definitions and humorous dialogue rather than political cartoons. The "DID HER BEST" section mocks a telephone operator's mistake—she gave a customer the wrong Harlem address (762 instead of 761), causing him anger. The humor lies in her earnest but ineffective apology. The definitions above parody contemporary concepts: "Fresh Air" references a real charity fund for poor New York children; "Jim-Jams" mocks hypochondria; "Ireland" is a joke about British governance; "Party" critiques political manipulation of voters. The "Poetic Justice" section sardonically questions why poets don't celebrate "summer girls" who seduce young men, and why such girls aren't publicly shamed. The satire targets double standards in romantic morality and literary subject matter of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SIGNS OF AN EARLY SPRIN Fresh AiR: A luxury unknown to the poor children of New York, but which can be secured for them by a contribution to LiFr’s Fresh Air Fund. Jim-Jams: A non-contagious disease whose victim imagines that he is the proprietor of a menagerie. IRELAND: A small island near Great Britain, where poticemen and politicians are raised for the New York market. Four HunpreD: A title applied to certain per- sons, weak-minded but harmless, who indulge in col- lective and individual antics for the purpose of attract- ing notice to themselves. Party: A political fiction used by bosses to control the votes of those who have not the wit to think for themselves. A collection of feminine bric-a-brac. A lineal descendant of the officers of GRATITUDE: (We regret to state that we have been unable to find anyone who knows what this word really means.) NEWSPAPER: for the purpose of enabling its owner to live luxuriously in Europe. A printed sheet published and sold POETIC JUSTICE. E'VE heard of the sui We are tired of the By which she endeavors to lure and clutch Unwary youth in her wile: % @ rhyme Why hasn't the poet extolled in The girl who discreetly goes Away from town for a quiet time, LIFE: 91 Doc: A faithful animal to be petted when you are in good humor and kicked when you are not. Huspanpb: A male person whose function is to pay bills. Lunatic: A person who differs in his opinions from the rest of the world. Metcalfe. DID HER BEST. IRST TELEPHONE GIRL: cranky ! SECOND TELEPHONE GIRL: Yes, what was he kicking about ? Fixst TELEPHONE GIRL: The mug wanted 761 Harlem, but I couldn't get 'em, so I give him 762, and told him that was as near as I could come to it ; and he was mad as hornets! Some of them men is terrible Marie: 1 TELL YER YER ARE FALSE! FALSE TO THE MARRER OF YER HART! I'VE TRUSTED YOU BLINDLY, FONDLY, UNTIL THE PRESENT MOMENT, AND NOW I LOATHE AND DISPISE YER ! Fleurette; HEAVEN GIVE ME POWER TO RESTRAIN MYSELF OR I'LL KNOCK THE NECK OFF HER! Why cannot he chant of those girls that take ‘Two gowns and a sailor hat, And hie them away to some lonely lake Which never a man is at? mmer girl too much, modes and styles S. Why shouldn't the poet adopt this plan For a change? I will tell you why : Because he's, in general, a truthful man, And he doesn’t like to lie Madeline 5. Bridges. And to get a rest from her beaux. Why doesn’t he whose soul Is attuned to Nature's tone, Who prefers, by woods t And to gaze at the moon alone ? HARD. ILD MAN OF BORNEO: Phwat are yez cryin’ about, Miss Sims? CIRCASSIAN BEAUTY: I have just come from the death-bed of the ossified’ man, and, oh, the poor fellow died so terribly hard ! sing of the maid herself, through the ‘0 stroll