Life, 1894-06-14 · page 12 of 14
Life — June 14, 1894 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 390: Social Satire **Top cartoon "Marriage-à-la-Mode in Chicago":** A Best Man calls a lawyer by telephone, asking if the divorce verdict is ready so the wedding can proceed. The joke satirizes how routine divorce has become in Chicago—the ceremony literally cannot start until the previous marriage is legally dissolved. This reflects early 20th-century concerns about rising divorce rates and the speed of American legal proceedings. **"An Arcadian Flirtation":** A verse narrative mocking romantic fickleness. A woman (Chloe) strings along two suitors (Corydon and Strephon), claiming each is her only love. When discovered, both abandon her. The moral: attempting to keep "two beaux upon a string" leaves you with none. **"Questions of the Hour":** A brief essay arguing the Presbyterian Church should accommodate modern sensibilities rather than rigidly expelling members (like professors Briggs and Smith), just as one outgrows childhood trousers. **"A Fable":** A maiden tries to purify the "mud puddle" of Politics through personal sacrifice, but accomplishes nothing except soiling herself. The moral: individual virtue cannot reform corrupt institutions.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MARRIAGE-A-LA-MODE-IN CHICAGO. Best Man (at telephone) : WE ARE WAITING FOR THE DIVORCE FOR M Is THAT LAWYER BREAKNOT ?——YES. VERDICT——WHAT’S THAT? Coot MaRRYMUCH ! ABSOLUTE ALL RIGHT, PARSON, LET "ER GO! AN ARCADIAN FLIRTATION. 66 7 T'S very odd, dear Chloe, to me,” Said Corydon one day, “That I should always Strephon see, Whene'er I come this way. “You tell me that you like him not, But it seems very queer That he should always be about Whenever I'm not here.” “Oh, silly, silly Corydon,” Chloe answered in a minute, “You know you are the only one, And Strephon isn’t in it.” “Nay, nay, I will not be cajoled— T'll leave you unto Strephon, He's welcome to, flirt so bold "— And exit Corydon, Then up rose Strephon where he lay Behind a knoll of grass, And said, ** Good-bye, I will not stay To court such fickle lass,”” $o like the dog who wanted both ‘The shadow and the bone, Chloe wanted lovers two, forsooth, So she was left alone. ui * To have two strings unto your bow Is quite the proper thing, But it is hard to keep, dear Chloe, Two beaux upon a string. ‘Ol. A FABLE. NCE it happened that as a sweet and beautcous young maiden was passing along the highway she noticed a particularly deep and WELL SHALL PRESBYTERIANS HAR- BOR HERETICS? HEN a boy’s trousers become too short for him and so snug about his person that he feels uncomforta- ble and ridiculous, then he discards those trousers. But the Presbyterian Church does not allow itself to be discarded. It discards the boy. It not only discards the boy, but it puts him on trial as an evil doer. Now, while the boy would never dream of purchasing gar- ments that were too small for him, his pride is so injured at the idea of being “ bounced" by his own trousers that he undertakes to defend himself, This produces an unusual condition of affairs, but it certainly is unreasonable to blame the trousers for taking the initiative. Professors Briggs and Smith must submit to ridicule or to larger trousers. nasty mud puddle, which the inhabitants of the place called “ Politics.” Thereupon the tender heart of the maiden was moved with pity for the passers-by, whose sight and nostrils were offended by this grievous thing. So she spake unto herself and said: not fair and pure and beautiful ? clean and spotless ? puddle and purify it!” But when she had cast herself into the mire and rolled in it, the effect on the puddle was not per- ceptible; but the effect on the maiden ' Morac: The Primaries are not Afternoon Teas. Harry Romaine. “Behold am I Are not my garments Therefore I will cast myself into this DEPARTED SPIRITS, comicbooks.com