Life — June 7, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

372 OUR FRESH AIR FUND. WE present herewith a statement of the financial condition of ‘this fund. It isa simple array of figures, and varies little from its predecessors, as LiF’s one aim is to apply these funds in an econom- ical and business-like manner to the purposes for which they are intended. He hopes with your assistance to make many youngsters happy in the coming summer. Balance on hand, as per our |. 1Ba¢. < Zs issue of Oct. 19, 1893...-.-8419.73 | Aprila7. Charity and Com- Oct. 4, Proceeds'of tableaux fort Circle of the Church by the following little peo- ‘of the Puritans .. $10.00 ple in Wilkesbarre, Pa., in May. Eight little giris who September, 1893: ‘Natalie celebrated the anniversary Noung. Ruth Goff, Ida of the battle of Lexington son. Margery ‘Dow, by an exhibition of Revo- n Guida Brotherhood, Jessie | Iutionary relics. 10.00 Retterly, Esther French, | May. Anna ani t 10.20 Marjorte Hanson,and Mas: | * K. Layman. St. ters Harry. Young, Albans, Vt 135 and Burns Goff. 8.30 | Nov 4 Bef, Tappan..." 18:30 Total... $482.98 Wit wy seo | 67S this Li “Yes, This is the United States Senate.” “Great Scott, we thought you blatherskites could do enough talking in Washington without also wearing holes in our telephone.” “Are you aware that we Senators cost you taxpayers each year $16,482 apiece. “Yes, we know you come high, and it seems, un- fortunately, that we must have you.” “Well, why shouldn't we talk ? thing to earn our pay.” “True. But why don’t you talk sense and why don’t you talk to the point? Why don’t you talk for the interests of the people of the United States whom you have sworn to serve?” “ That's what we're here for.” “ That's what you were put there for, but that's just what you are not doing. Those of you who are Republicans are working for the Republican party. You Populists seem to think that you are put in the Senate only to obstruct busi- ness and to air the schemes of every crank that has one. As for you Democrats, there isn't one of you who doesn’t seem to think that the only reason you are in the majority is to demonstrate that the Democratic party is the same old jackass it has always been.” “The only way to accomplish anything is to change the tules of the Senate, and that would be contrary to our dignity.” “ Dignity be blowed. If you had more business and less fool dignity, you would serve the people better. “ But the Senate was established by the Constitution to be a sedate body which should be a brake on hasty legislation.” “And you men suppose that you are doing what the framers of the Constitution intended you should.” “To the best of our ability.” We've got to do some- * LIFE: “ LIFE begs your pardon. What you have just said is doubtless true, and no one can blame you for not having more aés/ity, But it seems that there must be a mistake somewhere, when we pay $16,482 a year for men who haven't the sense to realize that their wrangling and fighting means prolonged distress to every American industry.” “ What do you want us to do?” “Act. Either pass that Tariff bill or reject it and then crawl back to the unfortunate communities you mis- represent.” “ Butour Republican members refuse to let us come to a vote.” “We know it, and the people who hold the Democrats re- sponsible for the present situation should take that well into consideration. But LiFcis talking to you all, Democrats and Republicans alike. You are paving the way for a Constitu- tional amendment which may rob the Senate of the proud distinction of being a millionaire’s club, But you make us weary and we can get enough of you in the daily papers. We are now about to make use of one of the blessed privi- leges of the telephone—Good-bye.” JS. M. SOUP FROM THE BONES. J AWYER QUIBBLE; There's one queer thing about ~ the family skeleton. LAWYER BRIEFLESS: LAWYER QUIBBL lawyers fat. What's that ? (complacently): \t often makes us AN UNKIND HUSBAND. RS. JENKS: calicos. Mrs. THORP Mrs, JENKS: Do you know, I always look best in : Who told you so? My husband. HE RICH UNCLE (¢o Ass physician): There is hope for me, then ? PHYSICIAN: I think so. THE RICH CLE: Well, please break it gently to my poor nephew. comicbooks.com