Life — May 10, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: po aa FRom the minute he laid eyes on her pretty, fresh, daring, young face, he thougt that there was one girl, at least, who could take care of herself, and need ask’ odds of yi man. That is why when the objectionably smart young man on his right began to oge | (eo) L ji the girl, the Saunterer did not interfere. For ten minutes he watched the girl return the VI V 3 young idiot’s glances with a queer mixture of absolute indifference and contempt, but th 2 young man did not look at it in that light, and finally he arose and took a seat by th girl's side. : Sue was a Vassar graduate, and didn’t know a little bit about housekeeping when “I beg your pardon,” he began, “but your face is strangely familiar to me. Haveu she married her last beau and settled down to domestic life. Her first order at the grocer's I seen it somewhere before?” was a crusher, but that good man was used to all sorts of people, and could interpret “Very likely,” returned Miss Sweet-and-Twenty, as she turned her face the othe Vassar as easily as plain English, way, “Lam Lydia Pinkham.”—Boston Budget. “+L want ten pounds of paralyzed sugar,” she said, with a business air. m. Anything else ?” “Two cans of condemned milk.” “Yes'm."" He set down * pulverized sug,” ‘condensed milk." * Anything more, ma’am ?” “A bag of fresh salt—be sure that it is fresh.” “Yes'm. What next.” “A pound of desecrated codfish.” Yes'm.” He wrote glibly ‘desiccated cod.” “Nothing more, ma'am ? Here's some nice horseradish, just in.” “No,” she said, with a sad wabble to her flexible voice.’ ** It would be of no use, as . we don't keep a horse.” THE mother of two sons, twins, met one of the brothers in a field one morning. Then the grocer sat down upon a kit of mackerel, and fanned himself with a patent “Which of you two boys am I speaking to?" asked the mother; ‘‘is it you or yor washboard. Vassar had taken the cake,—Detroit Free Press. brother?” ** Why do you ask?” inquired the lad, prudently. ‘Two emigrants, on a sultry night, ianmediately after landing, took refuge under the * Because, if it is your brother, I will box his ears.” bed-clothes from a skirmishing party of mosquitoes. At last one of them, haif suffocated “It is not my brother, it is 1." with the heat, ventured to peep over the bulwarks, but, by chance, espied a fire-fly which “Then your brother is wearing your coat, for yours had a hole in it.” had strayed into the room. Arousing his companion’ with a pinch, he said: ‘It's no “No, mother, Lam wearing my own coat.” use, Fergus ; ye may as well come out. Here's one of the crayters searchin’ for us wid a “Good Heavens!" cried the mother, looking at him intently, ** you are your brothe, lantern." — Exchange. after all !"—New York Tribune. = AN empiric was asked by a regular physician how it was that, without education « skill, he continued to live in considerable style, while he could hardly subsist, Why," said the other, ‘how many people do you think have passed us lately ?” “ Perhaps a hundred.” “And how many of them do you think possess common sense ?” Possibly one.” Why, then,” said the quack, “that one goes to you, and I get the other nine. "— Exchange. For sale by all Newstealere in Great Britain. The Inter. - rs Meera, Brentano, $7 Avenue del'Opera, aational News Company, Bream Bubding, Chancery Lan Paris; Saarbach's ‘News Exchange, 1 Clarastrame, Mayence, don, B.C, England, AGENTR. Germany, Agenta tor Germany, ausiria and Bwitsariand. — # SHAVING Choice Diamonds STICK. 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