Life — May 3, 1894 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: looked as though they appreciated what a luxury a Broadway car really was when they got to it. SunpDay. This should a’ been my day off, but we had to do extra, so I took it out of the pas- sengers by stopping short and starting sudden. Most of ‘em gets their clothes spoiled and their ankles sprained, but what d’ell do Icare? The conductor gets all the talk and the company don't say nothin’ if I get through on time and don't stop so often for passengers as to increase the wear and tear on the cable. Metcalfe. THE INEVITABLE. . HE following silly items appeared in a New York daily last week. There are many such items in the course of a week and they generally contain the same familiar names; and while the names themselves are honest and respectable, in time they pall: Mrs, W. Seward Webb, in white satin, with her corsage plentifully sprinkled with diamond ornaments, had as her guest in her box Mrs. Oliver Harriman, Ir., who looked remarkably handsome in a pompadour brocade ; Mrs. Burke- Roche, in pale-blue satin, trimmed with point lace, sat ina box with Mrs. L. Z. Leiter, who was in black velvet trimmed with point lace, . wearing a coronet of diamonds, and Leiter, in a rather effective gown of white satin, flecked with silver and ornamented with some lace. Mrs. Henry Clews, in a pretty gown of blue satin and lace, occupied her box with her daughter, Miss Elsie Clews, who was in rose-pink satin and chiffon. Perry Bel- mont’s box held Mrs. Edmund L. Baylies, who was attired in pale- blue brocade, trimmed with silver and lace, and Mrs. Karrick Riggs, in a handsome gown of pink brocade and point lace. Mrs. Paran Stevens, in a rich gown of mauve brocade, and wearing some handsome pearl and diamond ornaments, had as her guests in her box Mrs. I. Townsend Burden, in white satin, made with huge sleeves of turquoise blue velvet; Miss Evelyn Burden, in black crépe, trimmed with forget-me-not blue ribbons, and Mrs, William Post, who looked handsome in a gown of pale-blue satin, trimmed with point lace. ree woto 9 five’ If these well-meaning but misguided ladies should get up circulars containing this information and distribute them privately among their friends it would be silly enough. But would it not be in better taste than having the same foolish information constantly printed for the public eye? RIDE OF A YEAR (weeping): You used to say I was sweet enough to eat. GRooM OF THE SAME PERIOD: Yes, and I wish to Heaven I had eaten you. WASTED. TOOK her to the play one night, It cost me dollars four ; And then I found, to my delight, She'd been there twice before. A DROPPED LETTER. New YORRICK, AMERIKY. Metin Tear Brudder : Gome to dis guntry. Gome kewick. All you haf to do is to zay you no bromise to vork for anypody, und day lets you in. You isreceivet wid open arms. Day feet you und glothe you und make you sogomfortable as you neffer was. You neffer haf to vork here oxcept to march now and den wid dose unembloyed. Id vas grant. Zell out unt bring all de volks. Your brudder, J. VoNowsk1. STILL ON THE WING. ee Bees how are those clothes getting along that you put on the roof te-day?" said a young Harlem housekeeper to the maid of all work, on a recent windy day. “Whin I last looked, ma'am,” replied Bridget, “sure an’ they hadn't reached the Brooklyn Bridge yet.” NOT MUCH. OXEYITE: No; I don't work. The world owes me a living. INDUSTRIAN: Yes; but you'll get left if you expect others to collect it-for you. IN DOUBT. “Lizzie, YOU'RE A WOMAN O' THE WORLD AND WHAT I'M A YOU IS IN STRICK CONFERDENCE O' COURSE. JIM, THERE, HAS OFFERT ME HIS HAND. (/n @ hoarse whisper) Do YOU THINK A WOMAN COULD BE HAPPY WITH A MAN WITH LEGS LIKE HIS'N?” comicbooks.com