Life — May 3, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LEVEE = — Ow board a Baltimore train pulling into Parkersburg was a book agent whose demeanor conveyed the impression that he was matter-of-fact all the way through. No foolishness, no trifling with or in the every-day affairs of this busy old life. LL “Mr. Conductor, what time do we get into Parkersburg ?” Vi VLLY + Ten-twenty,” replied the official, politely. “Yes, Well, what time can I get a train on West.” e-twenty. THe absent-minded man is at it again. He had been reading the egg story, and ** To-morro decided to try the trick. The first thing to do was to boil the egg. How many minutes ? “ To-night.” he asked hiniself, and going to the stove with the egg in one hand and his watch in the “Conductor, dont take me for a fool because my beard grows the wrong way and other, he dropped the latter in the hot water. ‘Then placing the egg on the table, he sat my clo’es suggest the whip-poor-wills and penny-royal. I'm serious. down to read till the time was up. At the end of five or six minutes he was surprised to “So am I, good friend. You can make it all right. find the egg lying there before him, but supposing that he had himself taken it from the “ Wea-ll, now, how 2" kettle and cooled it, he proceeded to crack and peel it. The consequence may be imagined. ** Just keep your seat. eT Finally he missed his watch. The house was searched high and low, and it was not till **And leave town an hour before 1 get into it? the following morning that the cook found it in the kettle, where it had been boiling for hat's the idea, my good friend— e , hours.—Exchange. * Look, h'yer. You may be a good conductor, an’ know all the stations, and the spotters, an’ how to knock down forty per cent, o° the receipts, but when you claim to sy I THe wind was blowing a gale and the rain was pattering against the window panes have a reversin’ lever on the sun, you're off, decidedly off.” C at the home of a prominent Camden physician. The clock had just tolled the hour past “But the time changes an hour at the river.” midnight, when the physician was aroused by the ringing of the door bell. He jumped “Then, at this rate, if I go on to San Francisco, I'll get there some time last week, out of bed, put on his dressing gown, went to the window, raised the sash, andsawaman | guess I'll get off and wait until I catch up with myself."—Agents’ Herald, muffled to the ears standing on his front steps, He asked: “ What do you want at this late hour ?” DR. REID, the celebrated medical writer, was requested by a lady of literary eminence “1am Mr. Carr,” was the answer. to call at her house. . “Well, go home, Tam not responsible if you did miss a car. Why did you stay out “Be sure you recollect the address,” she said as she quitted the room, “No.1 so late ?" Chesterfield street.” The window went down with a bang, and the doctor went back to bed.—PAiladelphia “Madam,” said the doctor, ‘‘].am too great an admirer of politeness not to re Press. member Chesterfield, and I fear, too selfish ever to forget Number One.""—Exchange. For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The later Bubding, Chancery Lan EUROPEAN AGEWTs—Memrs, Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paris, Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 Clarastrame, Mayence, . Germany, agenta for Germany, Austria and Switzerland. national News Com Bream’s London, Engiand, AGENTS. Irritations of the SKIN and SCALP Odors from Perspiration Ladies’ Duck Dresses. We call attention to a special line of Cotton Duck Suits—plain white, Rich Jewelry. A large showing of jewelry pieces—exquisite conceit and finish. 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Mailed to any part of the United States for $1.00, postage free, Address Office of * LIFE,” The Columbia Bicycle Frame isa double Giainoad frame ara i IL i lesign. H James McCreery &Co..)] samtsncsh "tal degree, and is fully guaranteed) Brosdwey/and | 10 Sts Made under our own supervisiog] NEW YORK. i factory, of our o¥t The “Hoffman House” fret co dra sve ubin joi i i cd, it is a wort Bouquet Cigar 9 ||} ESirasSithows vat On sale at all Popular Clubs, Cafes, Hotels NOTICE. POPE MFG. C' and by dealers generally. Boston, But if your dealer does not keep them, order Chicago, direct from The Makers, adil stout Colombiante our slay SEND 28 West Twenty-Third Street, N.Y, RES wv. FOR CATALOGUE UBSCRIBERS TO “LIF. will please give old address || {veied catalogue, which zou can outele “THE HILSON CO., |) ar seed as nee sehen re. | fess teosetan Cor. 39th St. and First Ave., - NEW YORK.|, questing change of same, comicbooks.com