Life — April 12, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: JaMES Pays tells an amusing story concerning a well-known club in Pall Mall. A member lost his umbrella there, and caused the following notice to be put up in the entrance hall: “+The nobleman who took away an umbrella, not his own, on such a date, is requested to return it.” The house committee took umbrage at this statement, and summoned the member who had composed it before them, “Why, sir,” they said, “should you fave supposed that a nobleman had taken your umbrella ? * Well,” he replied, “the first article in the club rules say that * This club is composed of noblemen and gentlemen,’ and since the person who stole my umbrella could not have been a gentleman, he must have been a nobleman."—Detrott Free Press. He: Have you read the new novel about a girl who studied art, and finally prayed to be turned into. beautiful statue ? $s No. What nonsense ! * No living creature ever could envy an inanimate object." *Humph! [know plenty of girls who wouldn't mind being the Blarney Stone."— Boston Home Journal. AN old darkey, who was asked if, in his experience, prayer was ever answered, replied : * Well, sah, some pra'rs is ansud, an’ some isn't—'pends on wa't you axes fo", Jest arter de wah, w'en it was mighty hard’ scratchin’ fo" de cullud brederin, I "bsarved dat w'ent to sen’ one 0’ Marse Peyton's fat chickens fo' de old man, dere wa notice took ob de partition ; but, w'en 1 pray dat He would sen’ de old man fo' de chicken, de matter was ‘tended to befo" sun-up next mornin’."—/uducah News. A CERTAIN cheese dealer had a lot of cheese which was anything but good; tired of seeing the stuff about, told his assistant when he had closed the shop, to la one of the condemned cheeses at the door for someone to walk off with. | Tho occasionally crept to a window to see operations, and at length went to his grinning all over his face, saying the cheese was Leave another out to-morrow night,” was the master’s order, which was obeyed the shopman, who, after a few peeps next evening, walked to his master in the count house, scratching his head, and looking as though some great disappointment befallen him. Is it gone asked the dealer. “No, sir; they've brought back tother."—Exchange. AN honest mistake was that of a colored man in the South, whose former master allowed him the use of a piece of land on condition that he, the owner, should one-fourth of the crop. When the corn was ripe, the laborer hauled three loads to hisown house, and to that of the white man. Then he went innocently up to the great house, to retura landlord's wagon which he had used in the hauling. “Well, Frank,” said the gentleman, ** where's my share of the corn ?” + You ain't got none, sah,” was the reply. ** Haven't you any!’ Why, wasn’t I to have a fourth of all you raised ?"” “Yes, sah, but dey wa'n't no fourth. Dere wa’n't but jes’ my three loads !""—£r. Tommy : Paw, what is a braggart ? MR. F He is a man who is not afraid to tell his real opinion of hims¥ Indianapolis Journal. Say, Mary, where does this unscrew 2” asked the bad little brother, nearly twist his sister's arm off. “What do you mean, you horrid boy? Don't! You hurt me.” “Why, papa and mamma were talking about how badly you behaved at the par last night, when papa said you had a screw loose somewhere, and mamma said she we take you apart and talk to you."—Arkansas Traveler, CELEBRATED HATS, —aNp— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d & 234 Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago, 916 Chestnut St, Phila tBW-Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposition, 1859. Columbia Price, $125. The New Century Columbia stands easily at the head of all fully equipped roadsters, and will successfully maintain the high reputation its predecessors have established, “Full details concern- ing its new features in the Colum- bia catalogue, which is a beautiful book and full of interest. Free upon application at any Columbia agency, or we mail it for two two- ‘and Riding Costume: cent stamp: POPE MFG. CO., Boston. we York. Chica Hartford, Tlantles, Capes, Jackets, Etc., | In English, French and all other styles. 820 Sixth Ave., Bet. «647 Sts, e NEW Hennig vorx. Ladies’ Tailor and Dressmaker, Respectfully calls attention to his establishment for designing and making Society, Ball, Promenade Perfect fitting and cutting. French Dyeing and Cleansing Establishment. Main Offices: 17 Temple Place, Boston. 365 Fifth Ave., New York. LEWANDO’S There is a Snap In your old Spring Suit, Overcoat or Garment, if you send them to us to be LARGEST IN AMERICA, REJUVENATED. ESTABLISHED 1829 Send for PRICE LIST and one of our SNAP CARDS. LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY 7 EUROFEAN AOENTS_Memre. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Oper, + "a News Exchange, 1 ._ Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland. HILTON, HUGHES & CD, Successors to A. T. STEWART & CO. DRESS GOODS. All New Spring Goods. 42-Inch Fancy Checks, - - - - 60° 50-Inch Cheviot Canvas, - - - $1.°° 50-Inch Imported Cheviots, (in stripes, checks, diagonals), - ${,?5 (Reduced from $1.75.) §2-Inch Ladies’ Cloth, - - - - $1.°° (Reduced from $1.50.) SILKS. All Silk Crépe de Chine. 10 Pieces, Colored, - - - - - - 5Q*** (Cut from $1.00.) As above, cut from $1.75 to 75 cts. Chrysantheraum Crepes, - - - - $[,°° (Reduced from $2.00.) THE RNTIRE BLOCK, Broedway, 4th Ave., 9th and 40th 5 A Valuable Addition to the culinary list is Borden's Peerless Brand Evaporated Cream, an absolutely pure, un- sweetened condensed milk so carefully’ pre- pared that it keeps indefinitely and is always available for every recipe calling for milk or cream. WHen Mr, Séguier was put forward le judge of the court of appeals, he was pre to Napoleon, who said : “But you ares for such an office, sir. What is y “The same as that of your majesty ¥b4 won the battle of Marengo,"answered: He received the appointment.—47 Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the comicbooks.com