Life — March 22, 1894 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT SEIORS AT LL , YESTERDAY morning in Judge Cox's private room at the courthouse a gathering of lawyers, newspaper men and bailiffs was awaiting the opening of the forenoon session of the criminal court and whiling away the time in a discussion of the Wagner murder case. Very soon a well-known young lawyer entered whistling ‘Two Little Girls in Blue.” He whistled the hackneyed and shredded ditty through from beginning to end and was start- ing in to blow it over again, when he was suddenly interrupted by a court official, who looked up from a newspaper and asked the whistler, in a very earnest tone of voice : + Did you learn how much money was realized in the collections taken up at the theaters last night?” “No, indeed,” was the reply. they going to do with the money ? From behind the paper came the answer in gutterals : for the two little girls in blue.” ‘Then there was profound silence, only broken by the whistling lawyer, who, with child-like innocence asked: What little girls are you talking about?” ‘An explosion of laughter followed and the whistler, remarking that he had eaten salt inackerel for breakfast, went out to the water cooler.—/ndianapolis Sentinel. “Didn't know they took up collections, What are “Going to buy red dresses Tite following conversation is reported to have lately occurred in Washington, D. C. * John,” she said, after some silence. + What is it, my dear?” “Men say that women talk a great deal, don't they ?” ++ L believe they do." “ And they also think it proper to make jokes about her alleged difficulty in making up her mind.” Yes “John?” + Well, dear.” re there any women in Congress ?” -no,”” nd yet, just look at it !"—New World. Tue editor of a weekly journal lately lost two of his subscribers by accidentally depart- ing from the beaten track in his answers to correspondents. Two of his subscribers wrote toask him bis remedy for their respective troubles. No. 1, a happy father of twins, wrote to inquire the best way to get them safely over their teething, and No. 2 wanted to know how _ to protect his orchards from the myriads of grass-hoppers.. The editor framed his answers upon the orthodox lines, but unfortunately transposed their two names, with the result that No. 1, who was blessed with the twins, read, in reply to his query: ‘* Cover them carefully with straw and set fire to them, and the little pests, after jumping about in the flames a few minutes, will speedily be settled.” While No. 2, plagued with grass-hoppers, was told to ‘give a little catsor oil, and rub their gums gently with a bone,"— DURING the summer of 1863, while the hospitals at Canton, Miss., were crowded wit sick and wounded soldiers, the ladies visited them daily, carrying with them delicacies a every kind, and did all they could to cheer and comfort the suffering. On one occasion 4 pretty miss of sixteen was distributing flowers and speaking gentle words of encou: to those around her, when she overheard a soldier exclaim: **Oh, my Lord!" Steppin to his bedside to rebuke him for his profanity, she remarked : ** Didn't I hear you alia the name of the Lord? Lam one of his daughters. Is there anything I can ask him you?” Looking up into her bright, sweet face, he replied : **1 don't know but what then PAC is." “Well,” said she. ** what is it?" Raising his eyes to hers and extending his band TN he said: * Please ask Him to make me his son-in-law."—Detroit Free Press. A jupce, lady by his side, She only answered : Ves!" “Why do you wear a veil?” ** Lest [attract attention.” “ It is the province of gentlemen to admire,” replied the gallant man of la. ey “Not when they are married.” ae * But Iam not.” “Indeed 1" “Oh, no! I'ma bachelor!” ‘The lady quietly removed her veil, disclosing to the astonished magistrate the face a his mother-in-law. The judge has been a raving maniac ever since.—4osfon Courier, ing in the cars recently, from a single glance at the countenance of 3 gined he knew her and ventured to remark that the day was pleas A you Toulousain,” who had left his native city to study medicine in Paris, asd had been applying his time and the paternal remittances to a very different purpow. recently received a visit from his father, whg intended making a short stay in the capiti to inspect its wonders. During an afternoon strool together, the day after the elder ival, the father and son happened to pass in front of a very large colonnaded building ‘What is that ?” said the senior, carelessly. ‘1 don't know, but we'll ask this sergeant de ville On the query being put, the official curtly and distinctly remarked : School of Medicine."—Gatignant. replied the student. “That? Thy me A_ FEW years ago, when it was the custom for the groom to kiss the bride at the ak: after the marriage ceremony, a young lady made a very laughable remarl It was oath occasion of a cousin’s wedding in one of New York's most fashiona sle churches, asi when the happy man kissed his bride, this young lady exclaimed quick’, to a neighbor, «! a shocked voic now it was kistomary to cuss the bride !"—/arper’s Bazar. Italian.” ‘+ ast told that you are actually studyin; nat it six months under a master.” “Yes. Didn't you know? I have now “* With any marked success ? “Oh, certainly. He is beginning to talk German fairly well."—Fiiegende Blatter, I can't afford to give you that fifty-dollar bonnet. Sue: You can't afford not to give itto me. If you don't I'll take up one hundr dollars’ worth of your time bothering you for it.—W, Y. Herald. Widow Watkins Nearly Died from bilious headaches. She com, plained and moaned, and in three fhonths paid a doctor, cress, $90.00 And while she was complaining an suflering she took medicine con- 4g 6a stantly. The medicine cost .. 4S. Ber headaches were no bel {hen than before, and to get no relief she had paid secs... 108.60 Then she bought a box of Ripans Tabules at thedrug store. The first one cured her headache in fifteen minutes. and she was well in three days. This cost her... ‘ and she has four litte botties of the Tabules still on hand. Tt_will thus be seen that it cost her $108.10 more to be sick than to be well, R-I-P-A-N-S TABULES cure any illness resulting (rom a disordered digestion, and in nine cases out of tena single one will bring substantial relief in half an hour. +50 In Design, Workmanship, Ma- terial, and Finish they are BEST. SEND FOR CATALOGUE. REMINGTON ARMS COMPANY, 313°315 Broadwa: Ripans Tabules are for sale by druggists generally at 50 cents per box. By mail without extra charge. NEW YORK. RIPANS CHEMICAL CO., New York. 10 Spruce St., If you wish the old original quality olf Rogers spoons, forks, knives, etc., accept only those which are stamped It costs buy you “Kay Jou rece The question “will they wear?” need never be asked if your goods bear this trade-mark, as it guarantees the quality. For sale by dealers everywhere. Meriden Britannia Co., The Menden, Conn, i New York, 208 Fifth Ave. & 1128-1130 B’way (new locatiog) Chicago; San Francisco; Hamilton, Ont.; London, Englas we Romanesque Orange Spoon comicbooks.com