Life — March 15, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE: QONile there's Life there's Hope.” II. MARCH 15, 1894. No. 585. 28 W TWwenty-THirp STREET, New York. Published ever countries in the soa year in advance. Postage to forciga #04 a year, extra. Single copies, to cents. 5 fed bya stamped Thursday. ostal Union, Repected contributions will be destroyed unless accompante and directed envelope. HE “scrap” over the incorporation of Rad- cliffe College fairly rivals the famous series of differences of the Woman's Board of Managers of the late Chicago Fair. Can it be that in these days the tree of knowledge does not bear fruit enough to go round! In old times, tradition says the Woman plucked and ate and gave to Man. There was plenty then for both. But nowadays concurrent deglutition does not satisfy her,and she must either nibble at the identical apple that Man is feeding on, or she will have no fruit at all. Be patient, dear lady. It shall be as you will. You cannot have the whole of Man's apple yet, but wait just a moment and you shall have the core. . ENERAL WALLACE wants Congress to incor- porate an American Academy of “Immortals.” He would have the President appoint five incorporators, to be the first members, and have them fill up the list. The plan is not feasible; not at present anyway, The Sen- ate would not consent to the incor- poration unless it had a chance to reject the President's candidates, and Senator Hill would take care that no man got in who did not hold right views on the Maynard question. Tammany, too, would be bound to be represented in the group of incorporators, and in view of that it would very properly be insisted upon by the reform element that all the candidates should pass a civil service examination, Altogether General Wallace's scheme would prove to be full of trouble as the sparks fly upward. There is nothing very much amiss about the existing American plan, which allots the largest share of immortality to the author who sells the most books, to the painter whose pictures bring the highest prices, and the actor whom it costs most to view, That adjustment is not quite a true one (though General Wallace has no reason to find fault with it), but then the other would not be quite a true one either, It is just as well to have literary and artistic immortality where Divine Providence has left immortality in general, as something which all living creatures may possess by faith, but of which only the dead can enjoy positive experience. . . T seems to be a favorite dissipation in Chicago to go out of an evening to Jackson Park and set fire to one of the left-over Fair buildings. The final disposition of these buildings has been a perplexing problem, but this solution that is most practically in favor is not a happy one. It is a pity that this form of arson cannot be checked. If it goes on the Evening Post is bound to attribute it to the wicked undergraduates of the Chicago University, nam- ing it as a new illustration of the demoralizing effects of inter-collegiate sports, and another of those disasters which might have been predicted by any educated man. . . . HE most impressive arraignment, by the way, which the Post has contrived against the present system of college athletics appears in a recent schedule that. it printed of the mortality among recent valedictor- ians and salutatorians at Yale. It appears from reports which its Haven correspondent has gathered thata Yale “honor man” is a “risk” that no life-insurance company should have anything to do “~ with, The Post's deduction is that the athletic spirit wholly fails to reach the “ grinds,” who study themselves into early graves for lack of exercise. It is a pity a system cannot: be con- trived by which every distinguished athlete could be coupled to a prospective honor-man, each to be mutually responsible for the intellectual and physical development of the other. - . . ERE'’S a hoping that Mr. Gladstone may live to write his own obituary. It is a great task, and worthy of his talents ; and if, as seems so probable now, he has turned his back on active political life forever, he will have immed- iate need of some such labor to beguile his prospective leisure. All sorts of opinions are current about the G. O. M., but none of them would be so valuable or interest as many people as his own candid sentiments about himself. England will get herself governed somehow after he is gone, but his auto- biography will not get itself written unless he writes it before he goes. Now that he has laid aside the sceptre (or the speaking-trumpet, or whatever it is that an English premier governs with) there is nothing so fit for him to take up as the pen. comicbooks.com