Life — January 25, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PAT SeISOR® it WLLi$ HERE was a little girl, And she had a lite curl ght down in the middle of her forehead ; So she wore it to the hop, And it happened off to drop— ‘And the language that she thought was simply horrid ! Indianapolis Journal. “ AND now,” said the learned lecturer on geology, who had addressed a small but deeply a > audience at the village hall, ** I have tried to. make these problems, abstruse as they may appear, and involving in their solution the best thoughts, the closest analysis and the most profound investigations of our ablest scientific men for many ears—I have tried, I say, to make them seem comparatively simple and easily understood in the light of modern knowledge. Before I close this lecture [shall be glad to answer any questions that may occur to you as to points that appear to need clearing up or that may have been overlooked.” There was a silence of a few moments, and then an anxious-looking man in the rear of the hall rose up. * TL would take it as a favor,” he said, ‘if you could tell me whether science has _pro- duced as yet any reliable and certain cure for warts." —Chrcago Tribune. “LIPE - DR. FRANCIS PARKMAN, the late historian, had a strict idea of justice. A friend met him one day walking along the street leading a street boy with either hand. “What in the world are you doing, Parkman ?” asked the friend. “Tfound that Johnnie here had eaten all of the apple instead of dividing with bis little brother. Lam going to buy another for the younger boy, and make Johnnie watch him while he eats it."—Argonau?. Mrs. Gusi: Isn't it awful ? This paper says that there's a poor famil Alley actually starving to death, 1 shan’ sleep a wink to-night thinking of | creatures. I'll carry them a cook book the very first thing in the morning. Mr. Gusit: But, my dear, they probably haven't a thing in the house to cook. Mrs. Gus: Do you think so? That must be so nice!” I wish almost every day of my life that there was no such thing as cooking. Do you know, John, you've taken a world of anxiety off my mind !—Boston Transcript. in Bling the poor A GENTLEMAN entered Mr. Lincoln's private office, in the Spring of 1862, and earnestly requested a pass to Richmond. ** A pass to Richmond !" exclaimed the President. “Why, my dear sir, if I should give you one it would do you no good. You may think it very strange, but there are a lot of fellows between this and Richmond who either can't read or are prejudiced against every man who totes a pass fromme. I have given McClellan and more than two hundred thousand others passes to Richmond, and not one of them has got there yet." Argonaut. Whuie in the show business in Pennsylvania, Artemus Ward was put to sleep in an attic where the sash had been taken out for ventilation. In the night it turned cold, ‘Artemus got up, and was busy at the window. “What are you doing, Artemus ?” his companion asked. “I'm so c-cold,” he chattered. ‘1 was hanging up some of these hoop-skirts thought they'd keep the coarsest of the cold out." Argonaut. 1 Great Britain. The Inter - For sale by all Newsdealers ‘s Buliding, Chancery Lane, national News Company, Breas London, land,” AGENTS EUROPEAN AGENTA—Meaers. Brentano, 37 Avenue de TOpera, ria; Saarbach's, News Exchange, 1" Clarastrasse, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland. 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