Life — December 28, 1893 — page 51: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Who owns this store ? ‘The boss says I do, but I CALLER: stairs 2. Mrs, Boarpem: That faith-cure doctor has the toothache.—New York Weekly. What's all that howling up- “1 KNOW I'm a little irritable, John, but I had to live my life again I'd'marry you 1 the same.” “Him! I have my doubts about i Judy. Visitor: I've just come from Niagara Falls. ARDENT CHICAGOAN: Great guns! Has that been running during the World’s Fair. Chicago Record. “Wy didn’t you call a policeman when the man assaulted you with a club ?" Calla policeman! Good heavens! your or, wasn't | thumped enough as it was ?”* v. Y. Herald. McCommick : You imitate the Irish brogue remarkably well, but you had better not let a policeman hear you, Grissttaw :” And why ? MeCOsMICK : “He might arrest you for im- personating an officer.—Raymond's Monthly. “TL BOUGHT HIM FOR A BLAC! . SPOTS LIKE. A COACH DO “ You'Lt allow, Miss Smartless, that men pe a GREYHOUND HE BEG are more consistent than women in at least aNp—W one respect. While women’s dress changes YOU CAN’T ALWAYS TELL. “WELL, BUT AUNTIE WHAT KIND OF Doo 1s 17?” D TAN, BUT WHEN WEEKS OLD HE LOOKED LIKE A SETTER, THEN HE ELL I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL Syms: Well, there is one great advantage about Brooklyn. MYL For hea Syas: It's near ) Monthly. en's sake, what is it ? ‘ew York.—Raymond’'s Uncte yaller. Laby : Sakes alive. A gallon of what ? Uxcte Haymower: Gallon o* yaller paint; ye see I want to paint my new barn and I want it fresh, Lapy: Paint? Why this is a millinery fayMoweR: I want a gallon o° Haymower: Wall, I see you have a sign * Fresh Paint" thar at the door's the reason | axed, —Light. Fuppy: My wife and I never would have any trouble if she would only agree with me instead of standing out on the wrong side, as, she always does. Duppy : But she declares that it is you who are always on the wrong side. Fuppy: Ther what did I tell you? Doesn't that prove just what I said ?—Boston Transcript. THE seedy individual, blear-eyed and un- kempt, slipped into a cheap restaurant near the Michigan Central depot the other morn- ing and sat down at a table in the corner, where the waiter discovered him. * How much is a cup of coffee ?” he asked. ** Five cents.” fashion every week, our clothes remain sim- 1. ple and plain.” “TE “Oh, yes; but then, so do you men."— 1am, old man, to the—" Judy, hh, yes, 1 know; to the dearest, sweetest little woman on earth The one woman calculated to make you a happy home, the embodiment of your ideal, the dream of your youth.” ow did you ever find that out? You—you Harper's Bazar. RISINAL history of ten years : In the Gloaming.” . “Silver Threads among the Gold.” My Grandfather's Clock.” White Wings.” weet Violets.” str . * Annie Rooney . McGinty, . Knock “em in the Oki Kent Road.” . * Ta-ra-ra-Boom-de-a: 10, “* Daisy Bell."—Pearson's Weekly. “Say, old’ man, how. don't kaow ber, do you ?” just now Lo, Jack, I understand you're engaged.” HoPE you don't associate with that man I saw you speak to in the “ Associate with him! What do you take me for? That man, sir, is one of the most rascally, corrupt, sneaking, underhanded, low-down, vil- lainous, and depraved scoundrels that ever kept out of gao “T know it. But why are you on speaking terms with him at all?” “Why, I'm—er—his lawyer."—Exchange. “And a steak 2” * Ten cents.” + Fried eg; ** Five cents, * Potatoes? * Five cents.” “* Bread and butter ?” “+ Five cents.” “Do you charge anything extra for knife and fork and plate ?” “Oh, no.” Then he ran his hand down into his pocket. “Well, bring me them,” he said, shaking his head. "1 guess I can't do any better this morning than go through the motions.” —Detroit bree Press. A. JAECKEL, 11 East 19th St., N. Y. Choicest Furs. Very Latest Styles. Persian Muffs, Collars, etc., etc. Receiver of the Grand Gold [edal, Paris Exposition, 1889. Charles Scribner's Sons’ New Books. THE ONE I KNEW THE BEST OF ALL. A Memory of the Mind of a Child, By Mrs, BURNETT. Fully illustrated by R. B. Birch, 12mo, $2.00. __ “It has the engaging candor and transparency of all sincere autobiography, yet it is revealed with such exquisite delicacy and absence of self-consciousness we forget that the child heroine is Mrs. Burnett rn petfo."”"—Mus, Kate Dovatas WIcGIN Nibsy’s Christmas. Meh Lady. By Jacon A, Rus. Ilustrated, 12mo, | A Story of the War. By THosas 50 cents, NELSON Pact. Illustrated by C. S. Reinhart, Small folio, $1.50. _ A new and beautifully illustrated edi- tion of this charming Southern classic Three stories, founded upon facts in the experience of the author, whose acquaintance with every phase of the life of the poor is well known. They | in uniform style with the illustrated are told with graphic force and have | edition of Marse Chan,” issued. last intense human and pathetic interest year. CUSTOMS AND FASHIONS IN OLD NEW ENGLAND. By Mrs. ALice Morse Ear, author of * Sabbath in Puritan New England.” 1amo, $1.35. “ Thanks to Mrs. Earle's investigations, we may follow the Puritan child from his cradle through his life. There is not one of the chapters which is not full of interest."—. V7. Sun. Windfalls of Observation ; For the Edification of the Young and the Solace of Others. By Epwarp SANDFORD MARTIN. 12mo, $1.25. With Thackeray in America. By Eyre Crowe, ALR.A. With 121 illustrations. Small gto, $2.00. "It isa book that no lover of Thack- “A book that one may pick up in leis- | eray will be willing to leave unread. ure minutes and enjoy. The writer is | Not only is it interesting for the near humorous with a mellow and gracious | view it gives of the author of * Vanity humor, or he is delightfully sympa- | Fair," but for the picture it paintsof the thetic."— Boston Beacon. United States forty yearsago.""— Critic, CHARLES SCRIBNER'’S SONS, 743-745 Broadway, N. comicbooks.com