Life — December 28, 1893 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE AT SEIGORS AT MLL A promixest Englishman, Lord D——, and a proverbial hater of America and Americans, was dining lately in Paris with a British Minister, and next to him at the table was a noted Newport belle, Miss X. things American. The conversation had drifted to a discussion of It is needless to say that Lord D— made some pretty disagreeable s about some Americans he had met and some Yankee customs he abhorred. * Why, d'ye kno at some of the places Id soup on the table-cloth.” he continued, with an almost unpardonable want of tact, ied in America I saw people eat with their knives and spill their “that Miss X—— was thoroughly provoked by this time, but she replied with an apparent unconcern What poor letters of introduction you must have had, my lord !” ere was no more unpleasant talk about America that evening.— Pittsburg Bulletin. Jor JEPFERSON, says the Chicago 7imes, never had but one person with him who did not reverence the man as they did the name. was the property man, and annoyed the great comedian with undue familiarity. during his entire thirty years’ service. auspicious opening in one of the big cities, Mr. Jefferson discharged Bagley Ragley got drunk right away, and that night paid his called Mr. Jefferson *' Joey” him before a number of friends. ‘This individual, one Bagley by name, He had wevious to an for humiliating Just way to the gallery to see Mr. Jefferson present ‘+ Rip Van Winkle.” The angry Frau just driven poor, destitute Rip from the cottage, when Rip turns and, with a word of pathos, asks! audience hal Joey—only eighty per cent.”"—Argonaut. PINCHCASH (excited?y) notice of me ? THe Eprtor (calmly): sent you more than twenty letters a: teen years’ subscription you owe. Well, well! “Den haf I no interest in dis house ?” in tears, when Bagley’s cracked voice responded : The house was deathly still, th “ Only eighty per cent. What in thunder do you mean by publishing that obitua Tain't dead, not by a long ways. It does look that way, doesn’t it? You see, ing you to come in and pay something on the four I didn’t get any answer or see anything of you, and thought sure you must be dead. S'pose you settle, and I'll print a retraction free o charge. DEACON IRONSIDE (a/ter the se: I don’t think ELDER KEePaton' “Get back at me. when I heard you say government of heave: my failings in the we Thanks ; that's just the right change. Come in again.—Fireside Companion. Elder, I got in a little late this morning, bu had any right to take it out of mein your sermon. Take it out of you? How ? Ain’t that what you did? I hadn't hardly ‘And now comes the worst of them all, the chief And then you went on describing my character, and putting all t light you possibly could, ot inside the doo} rebel against th You didn’t mention no names, but know who you was driving at, and I must say, Elder, that I don’t like this way of “But, my dear Deacon Ironsides, you totally misapprehend. he subject this morn, ing was ‘The Rebellion in Heaven,’ and when you came in I was trying to picture th depravity of Lucifer, the arch-apostate. 1 “Never mind, Elder; never mind, We a nas ll—h'm—we'll say no more about it. morning, ain't it."—Chicago Tribune. truly sorry, Deacon, if I seemed to— Ruthet k pumbers of Live can be had by aj XV. egktte $15.00 each, bound. Vols. IIT his office, t Sin, 4 VL, IX., XVI. and XVIIL., $10.00 each, bound. Vola ale coptes of Vola I. and Il. out of beiat Volt and XX, $5.00 each. Laribars wishing addrens chased will gréatiy faclaie matiers by pending eld address an sell as bee ‘Bound, $90.00. Vols I, VIL, X11. and XIV, $30.09 each, Lound. Baek numbvery one year old, 28 cents per copy. Vols. VIL, X.,X1, X11, DANDRUFF NEGLECTED t BALDNESS FOLLOWS. Toallay Itching, remove Dandruff and prevent Baldness, Shampoo with Packer’ Ss TAR SOAP. BRLICIOUSLY REFRESHING FOR THE ATH, Prevents Contagion. He ml QRURMS eC ND pov ais Cj ae A 50 % Wr v2- x WORLDS FAIR CELEBRATED HATS, —anD— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & t8o Pifth Avenue, bet, sad & 3d Bts. and 18: Broadway, near Cortlandt St, NEW YORK. ‘Paimer House, Chicago. ‘1é Chestnat St, Phila 87 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposttion, 1689. EVERY MORNING AND NIGHT Dentellaria Tooth Wash. For Cleansing and Preserving your Teeth. Ar Aut First-Ciass Drvccists, OR FROM THE PROPRIETORS, BWING & COMPANY, - Jersey City. The “Hoffman House” Bouquet Cigar. On sale at all Popular Clubs, Cafes, Hotels and by dealers generally. But ‘your dealer does not keep them, order direct from The Makers, FOSTER HILSON CO., Cor. 39th St. and First Ave., = LEWIS G. TEWKSBURY, NEW YORK. New Year Announcement. Beginning January Second, Eighteen Hun- dred and Ninety-four, we shall hold our Annual Sale of Housekeeping Linens, Sheetings, and Blankets. At the same time we shall be prepared, in all departments, to dispose of the balance of Fall and Winter Stocks at greatly reduced prices. The month of January offers exceptional oppor- tunities for economical buyers. Mail orders receive most careful attention. James McCreery & Co. Broadway and 11th St.,” NEW YORK. TYPEWRITERS. Unprejudiced advice given. All makes half price. Shipped anywhere for examination. Exchanging a Specialty. Monthly payments. S2-page catalogue free. 45 Liberty St., New York. Chicago. Eibaoaazaas, | HEADQUARTERS, { 186 Monroe St., OHIOAGO, ILL. Perhaps you say to yourself * nothing is too ha some for the one to whom I shall offer t gift.” Then visit our establishment, for! contains the most exquisite Diamond Jowols, Time-Pieces, Silverwa: and Art Bits that man and money secure. Send for our “Suggestion Book. 36 Ave, de l'Opera, Paris. 8 NO JOKE ABOUT IT. Beal's Skin Boap is the best for t complexion and toilet. Send 25 cents for sample cake and list prizes to A. J. McKstont, 1125 M Street, San Francisco, Cal. 0th Edition, postpaid for 26e. (or stamps. THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turns Grey, and the Reed y Prof. HARLEY PARKER, F. R. A. 5. . F, Lone & Co, 1018 Arch 5t., Pris, ‘very one should read this little book.""— Athena What is your papa ? He's a literary man. Litre Boy: Lirtte Girt: What's that ?” ** He writes.” ** What does he write ?” “Ob, he: writes most everything ‘ed checks."—Good News. 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