Life — November 23, 1893 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MISER was once heard to say that he would do any- thing to secure another thousand pounds. A wager was laid privately that he should be asked to allow himself to be killed for a thousand pounds. It was mentioned to him. He took twenty-four hours to consider ; and the time having expired the parties called on him again, when his answer was: “Well, I have considered your offer, and have come to the conclusion that your thousand pounds would not be of any service to me after my decease ; but I tell you what Tam repared to do, 1 will consent to allow you to half kill me jor five hundred pounds."—Exchange. Hunery Hiccins: I didn’t git nothin’ to eat from the woman next door— Mrs. WICKWIRE: And you will get nothing here. “T wasn’ goin’ to ask you for nothin’, but 1 wanted to tell you that there woman next door I jist spoke of did say she would hand out the grub if I find out how you keep your complexion so becyutiful. Would you mind helpin’ a starvin’ man by tellin’ me?” * Er—oh—do you like sugar and cream in your coffee?" —Indianapolis Journal, ‘THE two landladies were comparing notes. “1 find it pays to serve the breakfast piping hot,” said one, “except on Sundays. Then I serve it cold.” “Why do you do that ?" asked the other. “Well, on week-days my boarders have to eat breakfast in a hurry, and if it is hot they don’t have time for it to cool off; so they eat very little. Sundays they eat less because it iscold, Tassure you, Mrs. Jones, but for this discovery I should have lost money this season." —Harper's Bazar. “LNEVER in my life,” said a clergyman to his wife, after a sermon in Westminster Abbey, ‘so touched the congre- gation, They were entranced; every eye was upon me from the first word to the last.” “No wonder,” said his wife; ‘your gloves were inside your hat, and when you took it off they remained on the top of your head all through the sermon." —Exchange. “BESSY, DO YOU THINK SHE'D LET ME HOLD THAT DOLL FOR A MINUTE CU MUE FORTE AER” xe} Your sister is real pretty, isn’t she ? Guess not; I never noticed it. hen what's the reason so many gen- tlemans keeps calling on her ? Littte Boy: Don't know. Maybe it’s ‘cause we haven't any piano.—Street & Smith's Good News. SANTA CLAUS SOUVENIR COFFEE SPOON. SOLID SILVER — pesien copvricnten. Price, $1.25 Each. $15.00 Per Dozen. For sale by all the better class of jewelers. GORHAM MFG. CO. SILVERSMITHS, BROADWAY AND roth STREET, NEW-YORK. comicbooks.com