Life — October 12, 1893 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HAVING “‘AN ELEPHANT ON HIS HANDS.” AT AUCTION! Y order of the people of the United States, the following lots of condemned s will be offered at public vendue to the highest bidder. Time, place and terms of sale will be duly adver- tised in the personal column of the Congressional Record week alter next. The sale will be absolute, and no goods can be returned or money refunded. Lot r, About two dozen Silver-Senators. Warranted in good working order, This lot is especially recommended to wind-mill owners, balloon proprietors, and dealers in natural gas, Dealers in jackasses are also invited to compete. Lot 2, Assortment of Pension-Grabbers, This includes pension- agents, bounty-jumpers, sutlers, home guards and deserters. Lot 3. Assortment of Undesirable Immigrants, including anar- ghists, Italian assassins, Russian Jews, dynamiters, beggars, and diseased people from all parts of the world, Lot 4. Several hundred Office-Seekers. “None of this lot are in- clined to work, but are all guaranteed to be good feeders. E (én Chicago): So your name is D: Sue: Yes; papa named me after his famous brand of hams, A PROBLEM. If IT HAS TAKEN REGINALD ONE HOUR AND FIFTY-FIVE MINUTES TO GET FROM THE DRAWING-ROOM DOOR, WHICH 18 TEN FEET DISTANT FROM WHERE HE NOW SITS, HOW LONG WILL IT TAI REGINALD TO GET TO THE ROTTOM OF THE FRONT STEPS, WHICH IS FIFTY FEET DISTANT ? ON has been telling how his grandfather took Walter Scott a voyage in a lighthouse tender. Mr. Andrew Lang's grandfather consorted with § Scott too, and if Mr. Lang lives up to his own reputation for diligence we shall hear about it. It tells in Scott’s diary about a Tory address that Sir Walter wrote out for use at a political meeting, but which never saw the light because of the prior adop- tion of a rival document by Mr. Andrew Lang. If Mr. Stevenson is going to use his grandfathers in his business, Mr. Lang is fixed to “sce” him, if so disposed. E: My nose itches. That's a sign I'm going to kiss a fool. SHE: If you kiss anyone. comicbooks.com