Life — September 14, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: AT SEISSORS Ad NvLLS *3 AN EXCELLENT REASON. I IS book was a failure; ‘twas plain it would be, For he was a novelist rash, And never a word of the man uttered he Who is * stroking his tawny moustache.” — Washington Star. Nor very long ago, troubles in a well-known Washington family were the cause of divorce proceedings. The wife got a judgment though the husband had filed a strong cross bill, Ina few months the ex-wife was again married, this time also to a Wash- ington man. One evening recently, at a large reception, the two met unexpectedly, and an acquaintance, not well up in the family history, was’ proceeding to introduce them, “Oh, we've met before,” said the last husband ; ‘* we're husbands-in-law."—drgonant, Proprietor oF Stasine Hote NewspareR CORRESPONDENT : Yes, I can take my share. PRopRIETOR: Well, this resort needs some advertising, and if a little cash will enable you to catch sight of a terrizle-looking sea-serpent, I'a’ prepared to furnish it.— Raymond's Monthly. Aren't you a rather heavy drinker ? Rev, Ma. Witous: I believe it would be a good idea to preach a sermon on dy wickedness of horse-racing. Some of the members are betting, | hear. Deacon PopuerRy: Don't do it. Next Sunday is a special collection day. preach against horse-racing you will make the winners mad. While the losers wil agree with you, they haven't anything to give.—/ndianapolts Journal. THERE was a long intermission between the waltz and the schottische, 2 band of society nobodies stood in a group, exchanging compliments. Sai sterner sex to a female v s, “* Miss, you are very pretty.” * You would say so even if you did not think so,” responded the girl with a” smi “IT know [ would,” candidly said the other, “and you would think so if I dida’t a; And the cornet sounded for the schottische.— Boston Courter. HALF a century ago, when “subjects” were bought by the surgeons, a poor ma (writes James Payn) fell dead in Fleet Street. Without a moment's hesitation, a yout fellow who was passing threw himself on his knees beside the corpse, exclaiming : "ys father, my dear father!" A crowd gathered round, their sympathy was excited, ani money was subscribed to enable the pious youth to take away his father's body io hackney coach. He did so, and took it to a surgeon, who gave him a hundred dui for it. Argonaut. “Wy don't you go to work ?” asked the benevolent woman. Well,” replied Dismal Dawson, in a vo'ce mingled with tears and pie, “I tred keepin’ a hotel oncet, and I tried runnin’ a newspaper oncet, and both of ‘em fizzled, § I just give it up. I knowed that a man who couldn't get rich on any one of thes businesses wasn't meant to get along in the world."—/ndianapolts Journat. Back, vumbere of Lire can be had by appiving at this ofice. single copies of Vola |. and IL out of XV. ant IVL, $1500 each, boand. Vola IIL. IV. V., VL IX.. XVII and XVIII, $1000 each. bound. | Vi ‘Sahecrihers wishing Addrew changed will greatiy factiitate matiers by sending old addres as well as new. it Vol. L., bound, $90.00. Vole IT, VITL, XIII. and XIV. Back $2.00 each, bound. Vols VIL, X., XIX. and XX. $9.00 each. 7. bP Bumbers, one year old, # centa per cop: THE GREAT MEDICINAL FOOD ye APER BRAN A Soe PURE, DELICIOUS, NOURISHING IEX<GY<GE]IE» ron NURSING MOTHERS, INFANTS «xo CHILDREN rai N VALID Sa, CONVALESCENTS, ror OYSPEPTIC, DELICATE, INFIRM and AGED PERSONS AN UNRIVALLED FOOD IN THE SicK-ROOM CELEBRATED HATS, —aND— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d & 3d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 916 Chestnut 8t,, Phils $27 Agencies in all Principal Citie Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposttion, 1889. -Snipeimo DEPOT — DONM CARLE Sen ROW VRD SBP DRUGGISTS IE Decoration Furniture Curtains 133 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. st ary fs) WHY ON ONE AND NOT THE OTHER? “The Skirts of Chance.” THE LATEST AND BEST Prize Novel By Capt. Alfred Thompson TALES FROM TOWN TOPICS September No. (9) Just Out. An ingenious device invented by a horse for adding to the comfort and beauty of man while exercising. All news and book stands throughout North America and railway trains, or send price, 50e- to Town Topics, 21 West 234 St., New Tork. LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY, SPAULDING& Co (inconponatan.) Gold ana Silver Smiths, CHICAGO, ILL. ‘*Tho Dloquence of Beauty” H|Appeals more strongly than any words ¢! WILLIAMS’ SHAVING STICK, invitation in favor of a visit to our store. our ” N ext purchase | of a shaving stick—let it be aaa ; Williams’—. It is hardly more than 5 years since we f put this brand on the market —and in that short time—it has found its wa ‘into: nearly all foreign countries and is fast ) taking the place of all other Shaving Stic —everywhere—simply by virtue of Better Soap— Better Case— Better—try it. Your Druggist has it—2sc. Ih «« it worthy of a connoisseur’s inspectics }]|_1t includes Silver and Gold Wan Diamonds, Jewolry, \Watches, etc. Send for our free “ Suggostia Book” for the aid of distant so 20th Edition, postpaid for 25c. (or samp) THE HUMAN HAIR, | Why it Falls Off, Turns Grey. and the Reneé BY Prof, HARLEY PARKER, F-R.A C.F. Lone & Co., 1018 Arch St.. Phila. P *Brery ove ahould read this Little book.’ Johannis. “King of Natural Table Water: Of exceptional purity and excellence. It mixes well with H/ines ail Spirits, the peculiar softness, which its na/wra/ gas lends to the taste, 1 ing it admirably adapted for the purpose.—London Lancet. BE CAREFUL when ordering “*Johannin'? to examine the label and also see that the cork is staf “ Johannis Brunnen Zolthaus-Nassau.” The genuine label has “ Johannis” diagonally a in red letters on white ground, the lettering above and below being white on black ground. ACCEPT NO OTHER WATER AS A SUBSTITUTE. 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