Life — August 17, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: GENUINE ENTERPRISE. IGHTY is the press! Lofty is its mission! If you do not believe it, read this advertisement from the columns of one of our metropolitan contemporaries . THIS SEASON'S MILLIONAIRE HEIRESS. Would you like to know how a beautiful girl, just nineteen, worth millions in her own right, passes her life at Newport? Would you like to know how she spent last week ? Then read the Sunda : You will know that Miss Virginia Fair, known to her intimates as ‘* Birdie,” is simple, vivacious and unaffected ; that her strong point isher black eyes ; that she dresses in white, weighs 130 pounds, spends her mornings on a veranda, surrounded with fine dogs and a chattering parrot, doing ‘* fancy work ;" that she is a fine whip, drives a dog-cart, paddles in the water, and that her favorite flower is lily of the valley, and that all the swells are raving about her and her millions. Lots of other facts about her. i Millionaire Heiress, See Sunday's We don’t know whom to feel sorriest for—* Birdie,” who is written about, the men who write and publish such stuff, or the snobs who read it. A STITCH IN TIME. — Ss LIFE’S ARITHMETIC. AMONG FRIENDS. 1, Suppose farmer Brown's cow gives to quarts of milk a day, and that with the aid of the pump he has 15 quarts to send to the city, if the distributing milk- man adds 4 quarts of water and Bridget 2 quarts to supply deficiencies, is it prob- able that the original cow would recognize the product without an introduction ? 2. If you should take a Philadelphian with 8 William Penn ancestors, § of an education, and } of an income, and a Bostonian with 8 educations, § of an income, and } of an ancestor, and add them together, would the result make a New Yorker ? 3. If a girl measuring 5 feet 2 inches in a Worth gown, attended by the 3 only men at the hotel, casts a shadow of 5 feet 2 inches at to o'clock, A.M., what will be the length, depth, and width of the shadow she will cast on the veranda at 5 o'clock, P.M., when all the girls know she has permanently secured the only Granderbilt ? 4. If a doctor's pill can check a headache that has been on the rampage over 6 hours, how many checks will it take to pay a doctor's bill that has been on the rampage over 6 months ? HM. Perley. ILLIS: Brown says he has a horse for sale. WALLACE: I don't doubt it. I sold him one the other d. A TERRIBLE TEMPTATION. “TAKING A LITTLE FRESH HEIR.” “TL DASSENT LOOK. I FANCY I KIN HEAR THE DOLL A SPEAKIN’ TO ME.” comicbooks.com