Life — July 20, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LI THE ADVANCE OF THE SEX. OLUMBUS stood an egg on end, Four hundred years agi By slightly breaking its frail shell — ‘A simple trick, you know ; And Mrs, Potter Palmer now Has to its level soared, By driving straight a nail into A hole already bored. —Kansas City Journal. AMONG the literary persons was a certain well-known lady whose large stock of formation contained something about every topic except athletics. Baseball and foot- all were her vulnerable points. Naturally she was rather annoyed to find herself sent jut to dinner with a callow, sophomoric-looking youth, whose first question was whether be had heard of the changes in the crew. Not knowing in the slightest whether the crew a question was a crew of thieves or of sailors, she looked interested and gasped ‘ No!” ‘hat was sufficient. She had loosed the flood gates of his eloquence. For two hours he hlked athletics. She answered as well as she could, looked pleased and once tried to range the topic of conversation, by saying that the captain of the team was a delightful FE: fellow, and came from such a nice family. But this straw was totally unable to dam the river of athletic talk. She could only sit, suffer, and when it was over sigh with relief. What was her horror the next evening to find herself again delivered over to the athletic youth. She was in despair, All the way out to the dining room she thought hard. When they were seated she said : “Mr. —, you cant talk about books or people, and I shouldn't live through another two hours of boats and oars and footballs and bruises. So I'll tell you what we'll do, Do you count 10 very slowly, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, cight, nine, 10, then Vil look interested and laugh. Then I'll count 10, and you look interested and laugh.”"— Boston Budget. “THE next man that asks if this is hot enough for me,” exclaimed the bookkeeper in a towering rage, ‘is going to get the whole side of his face knocked off.” “Well, Addemup,”” said. the proprietor, happening in a moment later, hanging his hat ona peg and removing his coat, ‘1s this hot enough for you?” “Yes, sit,” replied Mr, Addemup,—Chicago Tribune. THERE is perhaps no more unfair question than that which certain rejected swains are said sometimes to ask the object of their affection, subsequent to a refusal : ‘* But why won't you marry me?” ; A formula jor a reply toa question of this sort is said to have been framed by a young woman who had to do with an importunate-lover. Said she: ‘1 would marry you but for three reasons.” “Tell me what they are,” he implored, ‘ that I may remove them,” Unhappily for him, she did tell him. “The reasons were as she stated them : the first place, I do not love you, _ In the second place, I don't want to love you. third place, I couldn't love you if I did want to."—Harper's Bazar. “In In the at this office. of Vols. I. and II. out of int Vol. I, bound. $92.00. Vols IL, VIIL, XIIL aod XIV. $90.00 each, bound. Vols VIL, X., XI., XI. Back numbers of Lire can be had by appiy’ V. and XVI, $1500 each, bound. Vola IIL, 1V. Subscribers wishing addres changed will gr Single coy eV, VILIX., XVIL and XYILL reatiy tachi $10.00 each, bound. Vi lng old address as w¢ tacliitate matters by send ell as XIX. and pew. ‘XX. $200 each.” Back numbers, one year old, ia, 8 ‘cents per copy. ie THE GREAT MEDICINAL FOOD ye ERI RAN uit » DELICIOUS, NOURISHING EG» <@y E> r NURSING MOTHERS, INFANTS 4x0 CHILDREN roe N WAL LIDS ano CONVALESCENTS. (on DYSPEPTIC, DELICATE. INFIRM And AGED PERSONS ‘AN Sreeekee FOOO IN THE CK-ROOM YEP DRUGGISTS HE SOUR! 10 Depot — 6 Or Sens ew eRe Back numbers of LIFE can be had by applying at this fice, 28 West 23d Street, New Cork City. Single copies of 7ols. I. and II. out of print. ol. I., bound $30.00, Vols II., 7IIL, XIII. and XIV. $20.co ach, bound. Vols.VI1.,X.,XL., <IL, XV. and XVI. $15.00 ach,bound. Vols. 1II.,1V.,V., I, IX., XVII. and XVIIL., 510.00each, bound. Vols. XIX. jnd XX., $5.00 each. Back jjumbers, one year old, 25 cents ver copy. Subscribers wishing address hanged will greatly facilitate aatters by sending old ad- ress as well as new. EWIS G. TEWKSBURY, CELEBRATED HATS, —axo— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet, 22d & a3d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago. ‘916 Chestnut St, Phila. $27" Agencies in all Principal Cite: Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposition, 1889, Gorham Solid Silver. In the equipment of the largest establishment of its kind in the world and the reputation acquired by the experience of fifty years, the Gorham Mfg. Co. offers inducements worthy the consideration of every in- tending purchaser of Silver- ware, Goruam M’r’c Co. SILVERSMITHS BROADWAY AND IQTH STREET. does it ever bother you ? WILLIAMS’ SHAVING STICK. Very soft— rich—creamy lather which never dries ‘on the face. CROUCH & FITZGERALD, NEW YORK, MAKE THE MOST RELIABLE Trunks, Bags, Dress Suit Cases Hat Cases. U For American and Euro- pean Travel. 161 BROADWAY, det, Cortlandt and Literty Sts, 688 BROADWAY, bet. Fourth asd Great Jones Ste. 701 SIXTH AVENUE, tet. 40th and dst ot Sexp ror a CaTAtocur. enacts hse mas. CACTUS Catalogue free. A, BLANC & CO., PHILADELPHIA. 10 Cactus for $1.00 SPAULDING& Co. (inconponatan.) Gold ana Silver Smiths. CHICAGO. Our “Suggestion Book” isa tiay volume of information which enables distant purchasers to buy as intelligently as those who pay a personal visit to our store. Its pages contain a complete description of our stock of Silverware, Diamonds, Jewelry, Procious Stones, Brice: Brac, Btc., mailed free. 36 Ave, de l'Opera, Paris. State & Jackson Bts. Chicago. 20th Edition, postpaid for 25c. (or stamps.) THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turns Grey, and the Remedy. By Prof, HARLEY PARKER, F. R.A. S. C.F. Loxc & Co., 1018 Arch “ Brery one should read this little book. nging, For the Sick Room, For Steamer Travelling, For the Nursery, For the Rallway Carriage, For the Bath, For Yachting, For Men, Women, Chiidren, and the Baby, $2.75 to 935, with hi and girdle compiete. eines: and full ins yas sent on appli- ar. NOYES BROS. 626 Waswnaron Br., Boston, U.S. A. Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Transacts a General Banking Business. comicbooks.com