Life — June 1, 1893 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

350 THE CYNIC (OR ANYONE.ELSE). HAT many men have many"minds Proverbial law astutely finds. To me it oftener scems to fall ‘That many have no mind at all. ARE WE A ROYAL PEOPLE? HAT the fools are not all dead yet: is evident. At least the publishers of “Americans of Royal Descent” think a large crop still remains or they would never have issued such a book. Of this publication we have seen only the prospectus, and the prospectus is more than enough. We are informed that the AMERICANS OF ROYAL DESCENT Is a collection of genealogies of American families whose lineages are traced to the legitimate issue of kings. Next follows an endless list of almost every name in the country, and this is given as a “Partial List of the Surnames in Americans of Royal Descent.” So the old joke of every American citizen being a king is only half a joke after all, as most of us are of royal origin. Following is a sample of how the blood of kings is taught to flow in the desired channels : Edward L., King of England, had: Prince Edmund, Earl of Kent, who had : joan, #, Sir Thomas de Holland, and had : Thomas, second Earl of Kent, who had : Margaret, #. John, Marquis of Dorset, and had Joan, m. James I., King of Scotland and had Janet, m. George. Earl of Huntley, and had Hon. Adam Gordon, of Aboyne, who had Alexander Gordon, of Sutherland, who had Sir John, Earl of Sutherland, who had : Alexander, Earl of Sutherland, who had : Robert Gordon, Bart., of Gordonstown, who had : Catherine, m. Col. David Barclay, of Ury, and had: John Barclay. Dep. Gov. of East Jersey, who had : Rev. Thos. Barclay, of Albany, N. Y., who had Andrew Barclay, of New Y Catherin, m, Augustus Van Cortlandt, and had : Anne, m. Henry White, of New York, and had : Helen, m. Abraham Schermerhorn, and had : Caroline, m. William Astor, of N.'Y., and had “A LIVELY MOVEMENT IN STOCKS.” Edwerd I., King of England, had: Prince Edmund, Earl of Kent, who had: Joan, m. Sir Thomas de Holland, and ha ‘Thomas, second Earl of Kent, who had : Eleanor, m, Sir Edward Cherleton, and had : Joan, m. Sir John de Grey, A’. G., and had : Sir Henry, Earl of Tankerville, who had: Elizabeth, m, Sir Roger Kynaston, Knt., and had : Humphrey Kynaston, of Morton, who had : Margaret, m. John Lloyd, of Dyfiryn, and had : Humphrey Lloyd-Wynne, of Dyfiryn, who had : Katherine, m. John Lloyd, of Dolobran, and had : Charles Lloyd, of Dolobran, who had : Thomas Lloyd, Dep.Gov. of Penna., who had : Thomas Lloyd, of London, who ha Thomas Lloyd, of Phila., who had : Sarah, m. Judge William Moore, of Pa., and had : Ch sloyd Moore, of Phila,, who had : . Richard Willing, of Phila., and had: ard Shippen Willing, of Phila., who had : John Jacob Astor, of New York City, m. Ava Lowle Willing, of Philadelphia, What could be more artistic than such a climax? It does seem to LiFe, however, that the gifted author might have assigned to the bride a different king. There are so many kings to choose from, and then Mr, Astor need not have felt that he was marrying his own cousin, don’t you know. This precious volume can be purchased for ten dollars. We incline to the opinion that the ten dollars would be more profitably spent in bad cigars or mature oysters. The taste left in the mouth might be less nauseating. THE WRONG PLACE. CERTAINLY NOT BY DESIGN. Do you know, darling, I have never kissed any- ONES: I say, Miss Brown, how is it that you are always one before ? out when I call? Well, this is no kindergarten. SHE: Oh, just luck. comicbooks.com