Life — May 11, 1893 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: “While there's Life there's Hope.” VOL, XXI. MAY 11, 1893. 28 West Twesty-Tuirt No. 541. Srreet, New York. Published every Thursday, $5.00 a year in advance. Postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year, extra, Single copies, ro cents. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope, que naval parade has left one or two impressions vividly stamped upon the American mind. One is that if the Miantonomoh can hit as big as she talks she can thrash anything afloat. Another is, that without disparagement to the good- fellowship of a large congregation of brave and amiable visiting mariners, Admiral Sir John Hopkins, of the British warship Blake, is a most particularly bland and affable gentleman, and here's a-hoping that his head may never be swelled nor his liver torpid. It cannot be denied that an impression also got around that from ten to one on a damp morning was a long period to wait, especially as the whole of it was located between meals, and (for most of the people) at an insuperable distance from food. But being primarily the fault of Sergeant Dunn, it is lost time to grumble about that, since the Sergeant is irresponsible, and complaint is wasted on him. The worst of great shows is the cast-iron obligation that the bulk of the community seems to feel to view them. The best of them is that they, too, pass away, and that the ordi- nary burdens of life feel lighter by contrast after them. . ND now for the Fair. Of course we have got to see it, but let us take it as easily as we can. It will simplify the undertak- ing if we come to a clear understanding beforehand ual 8 about our motives, First “\Y of all, the trip to the Fair is not an excursion for pleasure, but a duty to be done. Anyone who can have some fun incidentally will be that much ahead, but it conduces toa more satisfactory experience to understand beforehand that the expedition to Chicago is a business trip to be taken like a pill, without unnecessary grimaces, and with hopes of the best results. It is to be hoped that in the majority of cases the pill may be found to be sugar-coated ; but even if it is not, the effect may be just as salutary in the end. Wherefore, brethren, if we strike the wrong crowd, or arrive on the day when the waiters revolt, or are burned up in a water-proof hotel, or find ourselves flat with fatigue the third day out, or whatever other detail of misery or misadventure we may encounter, let us bear all philosophically as obstacles met with in the path of duty, and not as avoidable snags that we have run blindly into in a wild chase after pleasure. Let us not carry our philosophy so far as to omit to enjoy ourselves if occasion offers, but merely refuse to be disappointed by what we fail to reach, or annoyed by what we cannot help. So may our sufferings be minimized and our joys enlarged. . . . HETHER there is any true meat in that old saw about patient waiters be- ing no losers, it may take a little more time to tell. Tips in this land it of large opportunities, have oy, fxm resembled kissing, in that they have gone by favor. How many of their constitutional rights the waiters can assert with- out imperilling that measure of the public favor that finds ex- pression in tips is a thing that can be ascertained only by experiment. Are we to understand that waiters who wear moustaches have suc- cessfully asserted all their rights and receive salaries which make them indifferent to gratuities? If so, 90 be it. The dining American does not insist upon the fee system, nor does he care much one way or the other about the moustaches, but he likes het plates. HE fox took a prejudice against the lion's cave because all the footprints thereabouts pointed the same way. For analogous reasons there seems to be a possibility of prejudice against the bishopric of Massachusetts. All the recent tracks around the Bishop's house in Boston appear to have been made by gentlemen in a hurry to get away. What is the matter? Is it sucha terrible job to be Bishop of Massachusetts? Or can it be that Dr. Brooks's empty shoes look so abnormally large that even the more distinguished clerical brethren are seized with panic at the sight of them! . * . IFE laments that the unwillingness of the most eminent piano-pounder to pound any pianos except Mr. Stein- way’s should have imperilled the harmony of the Chicago Fair. If it was our Fair and Paderewski had a distinct preference for any special piano we think he should have that piano no matter who made it. It certainly appears to the casual observer that if Paderewski gives his services for Chicago, he certainly ought to have something to say about the instrument to be used. comicbooks.com