Life — March 2, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LI HIS CHOICE FOR STRAIGHT AND PLACE. WANT to be a robin, And it would just suit me, While all the birds are singing there, To perch upon the tree. But if I cannot be the bird, With breast of red, why then, With eggs at forty cents a doz., I'd gladly be a hen, Minneapolis Journal. Tne following anecdotes were related recently by a prominent rabbi in a lecture on Jewish humor : One of the many Hebrew apologues that had been preserved, referred to the creation of woman. The Emperor Hadrian was described as conversing with a rabbi on various religious questions, With the object of casting ridicule on the Bible, Hadrian exclaimed : ** Why, your God is represented therein as a thief, for he surprised ‘Adam in his sleep and robbed him of one of his ribs.” The rabbi’s daughter, who was present, craved permission to reply, and when her request was granted, she said : Let me implore thine imperial protection. A great outrage has been inflicted upon us.” “* What has happened ?" asked the emperor. She answered : ** In the darkness of night an audacious thief broke into our house. He took a silver flagon from our chest of plate, and left a golden one in its place.” ** Would that such a robber would visit my palace every day !"" said Hadrian. FE ** And was not the Creator such a thief as this?" retorted the girl, from Adam a rib, and in lieu thereof gave unto him a living, lovely wife. Heine called himself one of the first men of the century; he was born on the eve of the new year's day, 1800. He came into conflict with ti religion of his race, not frog convicti but because, as he said, ‘a certificate of baptism was then the only card of admission to the charmed circle of European culture. Ver be was always proud to bat sprung from Judea. Speaking of his inability to acquire proficiency in the Hebres tongue, he said I could never get on so far in Hebrew as my watch, which, by mud familiar intercourse with pawnbrokers, has contracted many Jewish habits; it will new goon Saturday.” Among his many shrewd comments upon French politics, was ost which was not inappropriate tu the present crisis. He said: ‘In other countries whe a man is dissatisfied with his government, he emigrates; in France he requires the government to emigrate.” “Death is the best physician,” said a Hebrew patient to his too assiduous medica, “for he stoke man, “Why 2” inquired the doctor. “* Because he pays only one visit. On the stock exchange, the following dialogue was heard : you advise me to buy to-day ?" “What a question! 1 should recommend you to buy scme thermometers. Tb are very low to-day, and are sure to rise in time."—Argonaut, : “Mr. Moses, what woe PAT O'BRIEN is one of the most faithful furniture movers in the city. He was set up to Huntington avenue the other day with a sideboard for Mrs, Marlborough, and te took a man with him, Now Mrs. M. has a hardwood floor, bright and glossy, like waz But Pat didn’t think of that. He and Mike carried the sideboard along the oor, put into place, and were just leaving when Mrs. Marlborough came in, She gazed’ at the man and then at the floor. The hard wood was dotted with litle dents. Mrs. M.oexy cried. Pat," she said, in a horrified tone, “just look at that floor. What sort of nai have you in your boots?” Pat blushed. ‘* Faith, mum, and Oi'd have to take off me sthockings to show se, AP GREAT ER oop “_” CELEBRATED HATS, —aND— PURE, DELICIOUS, . NOURISHING And The Declsp Suk Umbrella, CS: Spa] 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet, 22d & 234 Ste. ror NURSING MOTHERS, INFANTS 4x0 NEW YORK. SPAULDING& Co tNCORPORATED.) Gold ana Silver Smith CHICAGO. It is universally admitted that the Pars designs are the most unique and bei that can be secured. Our Paris house us supplied with all the latest novelties France—and all Europe—is constanth p ducing. Our stock includes all keds d} ‘Time-Pioces — the best made at ba and abroad— Sterling Silverwan. Diamonds of the first wator. CH LLIDE® EVN] mene cuteness chee: rai NVALIDS ano TCONVALESCENTS, ror DYSPEPTIC, DELICATE. INFIRM Ano 97 Agencies in all Principal Cities, Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposition, 1889. The Emma Willard AGED PERSONS AN UNRIVALLED FOOD IN THE SicK-ROOM Syupeme ogpor — EP DRUGGISTS IE Sonn cARLE O Sens.rewrean Ribbon Leader. Patented March, 1871, ‘places the Old Fashioned Bodkin. Le Saves Time, Trouble 1s and Heat Pers Leads Ribbon or Tape of a: Hem or Lace without S? DRUGGISTS, width throa twisting For sale at the notion counters of alt Dry Geods Stores. MORGAN & CO., New York. CROUCH & FITZGERALD, NEW YORK, MAKI THE MOST RELIABLE Trunks, Bags, ; Dress Suit Cases, Hat Cases, Por American and Buro-| pean Travel. For the Sick Room, For Steamer Travelling, For the Nursery, For the Railway Carriage, For the Bath, For Yachting, For Men, Women, Children, and the Baby, to $35, with hood and girdle complete. Samples and full instructions sent on appl cation. NOYES “BROS.’ 426 Wasninoron Sr., Boston, U. 8. A. WE All vou have guessed about lite insurance may be wrong, If you PAY wisn to know the truth, send for POST. “How and Why," issued by the N MUTUAL LIFE, g21-3-5 Creat Street, Philadelphia 161 Broadway. 701 Sixth Avenue. 688 Broadway, below 4th St. This last store formerly at 556 Broadway, Saxo ror a CATALocur, WILLIAMS! SHAVING STICK. re Lather NEVER DRI ON THE FACE, Your Druggist keeps it. Will you try it? It costs the same as H others. We think it worth a great deal more, 25c. atall Drug Stor: YALE | Gems, Bric-a-Brac, Fans, etc. Send for our * Suggestion Book"—Ine 36 Ave, de l’Opera, Parts. Stare & Jacke Chicage. ALY HEATRE,. Broadway & x@! Every even’g, 8.15. Matinees begioa! 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