Life, 1893-02-09 · page 8 of 16
Life — February 9, 1893 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis This page satirizes the delayed arrival of a Fifth Avenue Stage Line bus (vehicle #3033). The main article "Sighted at Last!" reports the coach was spotted "leaking badly" with engine trouble, making slow headway—so slow that its arrival time is uncertain, possibly delayed until summer or beyond Fourth of July. The humor relies on treating a simple bus breakdown as a major news event worthy of breathless reporting, with concerned relatives checking for updates. The exaggerated tone mocks both the bus line's unreliability and New Yorkers' dependence on public transit. The page also contains unrelated items: a poem "A Valentine Quest" and brief jokes about marriage and bartending—typical Life magazine miscellany. The date appears to be February 14th (Valentine's Day), referenced in the poem.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE FEBRUARY 14TH, EARLY MARINE DELIVERY. “SIGHTED AT LAST! NUMBER 3033 OF THE FIFTH AVENUE STAGE L PROBABLY SAFE, SHE WAS LEAKING BADLY AND HAD A STRONG LIST TO PORT. HER DRIVER REFUSES TO BE TOWED IN. NO SIGNALS OF DISTRESS DISPLAYED, ALL ON BOARD WELL. TH friends and relatives of the passengers on number 3033 of the Fifth Avenue Stage Line will give numerous sighs of relief when they learn that at last Lire has received news of that belated craft. A night hackman reports that about eleven o'clock on the evening of February tst, he sighted her just off the Buckingham Hotel. She was making slow headway—even slow for a Fifth Avenue stage—and was leaking very badly, in fact worse than our informant had ever before seen a Fifth Avenue stage leak. She had a bad list to port, but as most of the passengers had flocked to that side to escape the leaks, it does not necessarily follow that she was more than usually disabled. Her stern wheels were making the usual number of revolutions per hour. Her driver made no signals of distress, and when our informant offered to tow him along, the driver told him to go to a place which is not down on the charts. It is difficult, if not impossible, tos figure just when 3033 will arrive. At the usual rate of speed of which the stages of this line are capable, she should reach Madison Square the latter part of next week, but there is every reason to believe there is something wrong with 3033's motive power, in which case she might not reach that point much before Fourth of July or Christmas. It is also possible that since being sighted she has drifted from her course, and if she has got as far East as Hunter's Point, it is not unlikely that her horses have fallen victims to some of the rendering establishments in that vicinity. Lire has a staff of reporters cruising aroand Madison Square night and day, and our readers may be sure that we will report her arrival as soon as she is sighted. A VALENTINE QUEST. WANDERED by the snowy path, On Valentine's blest day, I braved the Storm King’s bitter wrath And nearly lost my way. I reached the gates of Arcadie, Which Cupid opened wide, And saw the meadows stretching free From brook to mountain side. The happy regions of the god Cast over me a spell, ‘Till Cupid with an arrow prod Aroused me, asking ‘* Well?” “T come,” I faltered, ‘on a quest Of good St. Valentine I seek the maid I love the best To ask her to be mine.” ** You,” answered Cupid, with a smile, ** What, you?" again he cried. ** Rash youth, it would be worth your while ‘To read the sign outside.” And as he shut me from the crowd, Tread in misery : No comic Valentine allowed To enter Arcadie. HIS GAIT. ED: The girl he married is worth $100,000. Nep: From what | know of him, they will be happy for about two years. RAIN OR WHISKEY. BARTENDER (as chappies approach bar): Going to have some rain, gentlemen ? Cuorus: No; whiskey! comicbooks.com