Life — February 9, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LI AT Selysers AT NvLLvj i. TWO OF A KIND. THE-clock on the half hose is pretty, The Watch on the Rhine is sublime, And neither require any winding, But they don’t keep accurate time. —Tne Clothiers’ and Haberdashers' Weekly. Raitway Orrictat (breaking the news gently to the wife of a commerbial trav eler): Ahem! Madam, be calm! Your husband has met with a slight—that is to say, one of the front wheels of a passenger locomotive struck him on the cheek, and— Wire: Well, sir, you needn't come round here trying to collect damages. You won't get a penny from me. If your company can't keep its property out of danger, it'll have to take the consequences. You should have your engines insured, — Exchange. Younc Wire: room, I My dear, there is a gentleman waiting to speak to you in the ante- Do you know him? Sue: You must forgive me, darling, but of late you have been troubled with acough, besides, you take so little care of yourself, and—Oh f if you only knew how anxious I am about you. Supposing I were to lose you, love. (She bursts into sobbing and throws herself on his breast.) He: Come, my dear, silly child, do be calm, do be calm, People don't die of a slight cold, "Stl, i it will pacify you, show the medical gentleman in, Who is it? Dr. Pallot, eh? Site tungsblatt. It isn't a doctor, dear. It is—it is—it isa life insurance agent !—Unterhal- FE - ** My old aunt out in Brown County has sent me a jar of brandied peaches," said Mr. Lushforth to a row of friends. ‘* Now, while I don’t like peaches, still I fully appre- ciate the spirit in which they were tendered.""—/ndianapolis Journal. ‘THE day after Black Friday, Mr. Gould's old partner, Henry N, Smith, shakin finger in Mr. Gould’s face shouted : ‘I'll live to see the day, sir. when you have to eam a living by going around this street with a haad-organ and a monkey.” ** Maybe you will, Henry ; maybe you will,” was the soothing response ; “and when I want a monkey, Henry, I'll send for you."—drgonaut. A GOOD story, even when the same man continues to repeat it, has a tendency to ¢ a rolling snowball. An instance is furnished by a German paper : our friend Bushler went to the top of Mont Blanc ?” said one man to another. ot at all.” But he said so." “Trae. Two months ago, when he returned from Switzerland, he said he had bees at the foot of Mont Blanc. Since then he has gradually lied himself to the top."— Youth's Companion. It was in the olden days, when they were trying to introduce the Roman pronunca- tion of Latin instead of the Continental. They wanted to pronounce Cicero ** Kickero” and Julius Caesar‘ Yulius Kizer.” Of course for a time there wasa determined oppo sition, but gradually the schools fell into line with the colleges, and the Roman pronvs- ciation soon held undisputed sway. But there was one female seminary in western Massachusetts that successfully resisted the progress of those hated C’s and J’ faculty it was more a question of expediency than of principle, so in open s j “Resolved, That the faculty of H— Ladies Seminary condemns the introductice of the Roman method of Latin pronunciation, since the motto of the seminary forbids 1.” The motto was ** Jubet Vicissim."—Boston Budget. GLascow LaNoLoRD: When ye gae outside, Jock. ye'll see twa cabs ; tak’ the fist yin, for the other yin's no there. Guid nicht.—#un. acker’s Pp Tar Soap. (S PURE, ANTISEPTIC, LATHERS READILY, SOOTHES IRRITATED SKI eet me fe { ly CELEBRATED HATS, Ladies’ Round Hate and Bonnets Its use for Bath and Shampoo gives And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. SPAULDING& Co sMCORPORATED.) Gold ana Silver Smiths. {THE y FEBRUARY | Beautiful Designs in Sterling Silverware. Our patrons cannot choose from a mure select stock of Sterling Silverware than we now have to offer. Latest designs in table services, toilet anc one a sense of exquisite cleanliness. It removes Dandruff, allays Itching, makes the Hair Soft and Glossy ; an WARDS OFF CONTAGION. Violet AND Lilac TOILET WATERS AND OPAL SMELLING SALTS, 2 th Edition, postpaid, for ase. (or stamps). THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turns Grey, and the Remedy. Ry Prof. HARLEY PARKER, F-R.AS. C.F. Loxe & Co’, 1013 Arch St, Philada . Pa, Every one should read this little book.” Atheneum, 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. aad & a3d Sto and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago, 916 Chestnut St, Phila $27 Agencies in all Principal Cities, Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. The Emma Willard Ribbon Leader. Patented March, 1878, Replaces the Old Fashioned Bodkin. Saves Time, Trouble and Temper. Leads Ribbon or Tape of any width through Hem or Lace without twisting. For sale at the notion counters of all Dry Goods St MORGAN & CO., New York. A GENTLEMAN'S SMOKE. 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