Life — February 2, 1893 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

72 *LIFE: INCREASING ALARM}. Number 3033 of the Fifth Avenue Stage Line Not Yet Heard From.—Chances of Her Safety.—A Talk with the Good Colonel. Nothing has yet been heard from No. 3033 of the Fifth Avenue Stage Line, which left Seventy-Second Street and Fifth Avenue at 3 P. M., December 21st. Friends and relatives of the passengers are becoming seriously alarmed, but the officers of the company have not by any means given up hope. A LIFE reporter called at the office of the Snar/ in Distress this morning to see the proprietor of that journal. He was told that the gentleman in question was busy sending out Columbian souvenir coins to country editors. Our reporter did not seem to understand, and the polite clerk ventured the information that this was one way of making himself popular. Although we do not approve of reckless extravagance, gener- osity is all very well in its way. Later our reporter called at the stables of the Fifth Avenue Exasperation Company, Limited, and saw the editor of the Snaz/ in Distress. “Oh! yes," he said, “I like LiFe very much—we all like it. Your Jubilee Number was really a marvel of journalistic art. Yes, I'm giving the horses an oat apiece to-day. Taking care of my flock like a good shepherd. Not because it’s a holiday. Oh! dear, no. They are all a hundred years old to-day. You want to know about 3033. Well, we haven't received any news yet. Of course there are a lot of things which might have happened. The horses may have got frightened at a loose piece of hay, for instance. How do | account for its not having been sighted by other stages of this line? Well, it may have stopped within a hundred yards of a curb to take on somebody. In that case it would be out of its course, But I don’t apprehend any danger. It was the newest and one of the finest stages of the line. It was built in 1777, at a kindergarten. The child who designed the out- side decorations is now in Bloomingdale. We had the horses manufactured expressly for us. They each had their full supply of ribs—anyone who saw them could testify to that. 3033 had on board thirty-seven women, twelve men, and eight children, The driver knew how to swear better than any man on the line, and we had every confidence in him.” NOT AFRAID OF THE DARK. ITTY: Oh, light the gas and turn that lamp down; it's going out. Tom: I don't object to that; do you? Kitty: Yes, I do—to the smell! se yo say you drink beer in summer to keep’you cool and drink beer in winter to keep you warm, It seems to me that remark shows a good deal of inconsistency.” “No, sir; it shows what a good all around drink beer is.” SOME UNEXPECTED . YJLTS. ON THE FACE OF IT. HERE are you going, my pretty maide ?” m going a-milking, sir,” she saide. “* What is your fortune, my pretty maide ?” “* My face is my fortune, sir,” she saide, xactly what mine is, my pretty maide.” “‘T pity your poverty, sir,” she saide— And the lowing herd wound slowly o'er the lea. “a Mak people who sing “Heaven is my Home,” never seem to suffer much from homesickness. comicbooks.com