Life — January 12, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: FEIGGORS Ait Ls ‘O take it forth to solitude That jestlet once so cherished. Its summer course it has pursued ; ‘The ice-cream joke has perished —Wathington Star. PEOPLE sometimes obtain work from Uncle Sam in peculiar ways. Not so very long ago, a poctess of passion in a far Western State became an office seeker, adopting a novel method of pursuing her object. She appealed to a United States senator, bom: barding him with poetry by mail. Once a week regularly he received (rom her a long let- ter in the shape of a poem. Sometimes he got two a week. The poetry was probably the worst that any poetess of passion has ever produced. At first, be paid no attention to it; but, at length, it began to prey upon his mind, When this sort of thing had gone on for five or six months, he became desperate. So, finally, he wrote to her sayii “Your poems have proved to me that you are unfit for any public office. Neverthe- less, It is recorded that a man, app was asked to state the distana simply : soldiers England sent to this country d—d sight more than ever got back. A PrittssurG if you will cease writing and sending them to me, | will get you a job.” jed_sixth auditor of the treasury, subject to examinatior, the moon from the earth. | H t near enough to affect the functions of a sixth audito did another, who, being examined for employment in the Treasury, luring the Revolution. Argonaut. And he did written answer wa: He passed. & ‘as asked how many His answer was: “A 1ER who spent a part of last’Summer in England tells an inciden: which sadly disturbed the religious peace of a parish in Penzance, A maiden lady of that town owned a parrot, which somehow acquired the disagrees ble habit of observing at frequent intervals : “+1 wish the old lady would die.” This annoyed the bird's owner, who 5 “T think we can rectify the matter,” replied the good man. ing been brought up in the way he should go. and he is a righteous bird, h. to her curate abot also, have a parrot, 11 tend you my parrot, and I trust his influence will reform that depraved bird of yours. ‘The curate’s parrot was placed in the sime room with the wicked one, and as soor as th “T wish the old lady would die.” Whereupon the clergyman's bird rolled up “We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord ! The story got.out in the parish, and for several Sundays it was necessary to ome the litany at the church services.— Pittsburg Chronicle. wo had become accustomed to each other the bad bird remarked : his eyes and in solemn accents added acker’s Tar Soap. IS PURE, ANTISEPTIC, LATHERS READILY, SOOTHES IRRITATED SKIN. AND Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Av 1" Broadway, near Cortlandt NEW YOR! ‘Palmer Hease, Chicago, Its use for Bath and Shampoo gives one a sense of exquisite cleanliness. It removes Dandruff, allays Itching, makes the Hair Soft and Glossy ; and WARDS OFF CONTAGION. A GRAND COMBINATION YALE MIXTURE FOR THE PIPE. A Delightful Blend of St. James Parish, Lousiana, Perique, Genuine Imported Turkish, Extra Bright Plug Cut, Extra Bright Long Cut, and Marburg ‘Bros.’ Celebrated Brand “Pickings.”” MARBURG BROS. Violet AND Coovalexva CELEBRATED HATS, bet. aed & apd Sto, Lilac “LIFE” BINDER TOILET WATERS AND OPAL Cheap, Strong and Durable. ‘Will held 26 Nambers. Address OFFICE OF “LIFE,” SMELLI 8 TS. * MG AEE 28 W. 23d Street, New York cl a ee Bee OF NELSON Whisky is distilled for the finest trade, and for the purpose is bottled at the distillery in Nelson County, Ky. Is guaranteed to be a hand made sour $14 Chestnss wt, Prue, | Mash of the finest quality. No whisky produced ranks higher. No first-class club, hotel, bar or saloon can afford to be without it. Adapted especially for gentlemen's sideboards and for sickness. Price $15 per case, containing 12 bottles. Received by us direct from the distillery. Address Acker, Merrall & Condit, NEW YORK, N. Y. eS STRATAGE THE KNAV. Matinces Wednesday and Saturday Why it Falls Off, Turns Gre} SPAULDING& Co (snconponatan.) Gold asa Silver Smiths. For the Holiday Seaso We show a most complete stock in monds, Watches, Sterling Sil ‘ware, Clocks, Jewelry, Bs Brac, Opera Glasses, Fine Sil Mounted Leather Goods, Sil Toilet Sets and Works of Art, able for Wedding and Holiday Presents 36 Ave, de l'Opera, Parka: State & Jackesa Chicaga 18th Edition, postpaid, for ase. (or stampa. THE HUMAN HAIR, and the Rest By Prof. HARLEY PARKER, F-RAD , Lona & Co., 1013 Arch St., Philade, Every one should read this’ little beet’ A thenaum. Jubilee Number of Life For Sale by all Newsdealers. Commemorates the Tenth Anniversary of LIFE'S Existence Richly illustrated with portraits of Live's artists and contributors, with the son Lire’s origin and growth. PRICE 25 CENTS. comicbooks.com