Life — December 29, 1892 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our pnts paesiveteons ne rorunes Vf} Ok OF THIEVES AND LIARS AND ALSO oven 4 3 commence: fe Christmas Sermon TO A FASHIONABLE CONGREGATION, Ry Life's Special Rishop, I’ gives me the greatest pleasure, my brothers and sisters, to take the place of your usual pastor, particularly as it affords an opportunity to say certain things to you that he is too politic to utter. This is no reflection upon our absent friend. is not for such as you to blame him for preferring a peaceful life with twelve thousand a year rather than tell you truths which you have neither the Christian spirit to accept nor the intelligence to apply. Our brother were indeed a fool to stand up in this pulpit and loosen his hold upon a handsome sal- ary by trying to make you realize what appalling failures the When I speak of the uselessness of It certainly majority of you are. your lives I do not forget that you give money in charity. You could not do otherwise. A man with more than he can spend, who gave nothing away, would be such a manifest pig to deserve special legislation. As I look down upon your complacent faces, and your excellent raiment, and perceive the solemnity of your deport- ment, I can understand how easy it is for others to mistake these outward signs for inward merit. To yourselves, my brothers and sisters, in your secret hearts you are largely humbug. To the class immediately above you,—the quieter and more intellectual people,—you are not only humbugs, but from your success in advertising, and the seriousness with which you take yourselves, you have be- come objects of ridicule. The only members of society you really impress are those with whom you never come in con- tact. ¢, why not be simple, natural, and unassuming ? And I might say in this connection that there is no one thing would help you more than keeping your names from the public press, I wish it were possible to give you some idea of how depressing it is to be forever seeing these same old This being the names in the papers; names that signify so little except to the owners; names representing nothing in thought or achieve- The your houses would do as well; even better. For when we read the next morning that " Mrs. 41 Nugget Avenue was there,” it would tell infinitely more than a name. And, more- over, it would be in infinitely better taste. To have plenty of money is an excellent thing ment—simply names of certain. people. numbers of And having it, there is no harm in spending it freely. If it gives you pleasure to disport yourselves in costly raiment and to revel in the luxuries of an expensive chef, together with other comforts that answer only to the beck of riches, there is no evil therein, But to accomplish all this with judgment re- quires more intelligence than you show: indications of possessing. Remember that you, as members of the “smart set,” are cavorting before the most critical public in the world: that their sense of humor is unequalled; that they are your bet- ters in refinement, originality, and in general intelligence. Now, style is a heavenly thing, but do not give yourselves up to it altogether. Do not live for it, nor judge others by it. My researches in the Scriptures have, thus far, resulted in finding no allusion to excessive style as a saving grace. There seems to obtain, in fact, a belief that the financially prosperous have a slimmer chance for salvation than those who are unsuccessful in business. 1 might almost say there is, in holy writ, a prejudice against millionaires, Our brother who usually occupies this expensive pulpit may have had the effrontery to allude to a hereafter and a day of reckoning. To a day when rewards and punishments are meted out in proportion to our opportunities for good and evil. It may be in questionable taste to call up such a painful situation before so comfortable an audience, but I feel it my duty to say that if that day overtakes you there will be some hot surprises. As far as can judge from the agility of the camel and the dimensions of the needle's eye your pros- pects are far from. rosy. Do not suppose, my brothers and sisters, that [am labor- ing under the delusion that you are going to change your manner of living after hearing this discourse. You are yoing home in your excellent clothing to your comfort- able houses, where you will eat a superior dinner, and when- ever it comes to a competition between your physical com- fort and the teachings of the Christian religion, a very inex- perienced prophet can foresee the result. Neither do I expect you, as a fashionable congregation, to be charitable in its broadest sense, or unseltish, or to remem- ber that you are very ordinary vessels with golden labels. I only ask you not to take yourselves quite so seriously, and just for the sake of the example, to cultivate a livelier inter- est in the happiness of 0 comicbooks.com