Life, 1892-10-27 · page 12 of 14
Life — October 27, 1892 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Curb Your Conversation" - Life Magazine Satire This page satirizes occupational longevity using life insurance statistics. The main article mocks auctioneers, boarding-house keepers, barbers, and drivers as the shortest-lived professions—attributing auctioneers' brief lifespans to excessive talking ("chinning") rather than actual labor. The satire suggests women should replace male auctioneers since talking supposedly *invigorates* women rather than exhausting them, thereby extending auctioneers' lives through retirement. The accompanying cartoons are brief comedic vignettes: one shows a boy feigning illness to avoid school ("A Case of Sham Paly" [palsy]), and another depicts "The Wicked Monkeys and the Smart Giraffe"—likely a fable-style strip. The dialogue jokes address dating/romance etiquette and publishing rejections, typical period humor emphasizing gender stereotypes and social pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE. CURB YOUR CONVERSATION. WE learn from the Washington Star that according to Life Insur- ance Statistics commercial travelers and agents live longer than men in any other kind of business, notwithstanding the hazards which attend transportation by rail and water. Next to them come dentists, teachers, and professors, including music teachers, then hatters, clergy- men, and missionaries, The last may occasionally furnish food for untutored savages, but they are a first-rate risk nevertheless, Next come bankers and capitalists, who seem to live just a trifle longer than butchers and marketmen, Lawyers and jewelers follow, and they are succeeded on the list by merchants, peddlers, milkmen, and pawn- brokers. Then come gardeners, laborers, civil engineers, and can- vassers, Newspaper men do not live so long as any of those just mentioned, Even bookkeepers and bank cashiers, as well as artists aod architects, are ahead of them. They come in next with the printers, physicians and gentlemen who are not engaged in any active employment. Then follow the apothecaries and photographers, and after. them in order, bakers, cigar-makers, real estate agents, army officers and soldiers, liquor dealers, mariners, and naval officers. Shortest lived of all seem to be the auctioneers, boarding-house keepers, barbers and drivers. There is a lesson in this, It is without doubt the too vigorous ‘‘ chinaing" of the auctioneer that shortens his life, for the boarding-house keeper, barber and driver have more wearing work aad greater exposure. Let these statistics be a warning to those who have too great a love for the music of their own voices. Why not put the auctioneer's hammer in the hands of the gentler sex? Talking, for them, is not a fatigue, but an invigorating exercise. The dear things would live all the longer, while a more silent occupa- tion would enable the failing auctioneers to renew their grip on health and longevity. He: YOUR CHAPERON 1s NOT VERY WATCHFUL, 7 She (absently): BUT YOU SHOULD SEE HER WHEN THERE'S HE: Why do you never take me to the theatre, George ? MAN IN| MY VICINITY, HE: Mabel, you certainly do not expect me to spend = a - «Coy hard borrowed cash for theatre tickets, do you ? DITORS never send my verses back,” said Rinne, Oana a proudly, THE WICKED MONKEYS AND THE SMART GIRAFFE. “You neglect to enclose stamps, I suppose,” replied Miss Cawker. A CASE OF SHAM PALY comicbooks.com