Life — October 13, 1892 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*- LIFE: THEY were sitting on the sofa in the parlor of a summer hotel, He was holding her hand and telling her of the love which was overflowing in his heart for her. He bad been talking for some time, when she interrupted him, saying in a shy, I've-never-been- talked-to-like-this-before kind of way: nd you are sure you have never loved any other girl, Clarence ?” “Quite sure,” he replied as he slipped his arm around her waist. ‘I've met | thousands of girls in the course of my life, but never until I met you has any girl ever known what it was even to be kissed by me.” And as their lips met under the pale light in one of those experienced, we've-both- been-there-before-many-a-time, long drawn-out osculations, a large picture of the Father of his Country, which was hanging on the wall over the sofa, broke from its fastenings and fell upon the fabricators with a dull, sickening thud !"—Fen and Ink. ALEXANDER H. H, STUART, when Secretary of the Interior under President Fillmore, was very much anvoyed by a persistent applicant for the post of messenger. | The man came in regularly every day for several weeks, until he became an unbearable bore, Finally, one day, after the man had gone out, Stuart asked the messenger, then in the office, he knew what that man was after. He said: * Well." said Stuart, ‘he wants your place, and if ever I see him again, he shall Stuart never saw the man again.—Argonant. Mrs, Brons (as the train gives a lurch): MR. Bini We must be at Chicago. No, we seem to be running all right. My goodness! Are we off the track? Guess we went round the curve, “* But Chicago was one thousand miles off when we started, and we've only been rid- ing an hour.” “Can't help it. it gets to Chicago. I looked at the map of this railroad and there ain't a curve in it tiD Hunt up y'r things."—New York Weekly. A Cuicaco man visiting in New Orleans met a dapper little Creole—a colonel in the Confederate army—whose admiration for General Beauregard approached adoration. “He was the greatest general in the world. The South nevair see hees equal— nevair,” said the colonel. ** What about Lee ?” asked the Chicagoan. “Lee! hem,."—Argonaut, Wire Hus Wire: Free Press. sD: What are they?” TEACHER: JOUNNIE : TEACHER Jounni: Watts: Potts: ‘Which time was the last ? ‘The third.—Boston Courier. Lee 1" said the colonel; ‘ah, oui; General Booragar spik vari well of I want to talk with you about some things we need for the house. Well, to begin with, dear, don't you think we need a new bonnet ?—Detroit Now Johnnie, how many times did Columbus cross the Atlantic ? Three. 1 don’t like this re-incarnation idea a bit, No? Watts: No. Just fancy yourself occupying the body of a mule and hauling stones for your own monument.—/ndianafolis Journal, The Noblest Breakfast Food_on_Earth! 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