Life — October 6, 1892 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: AT SEISERS AT NALS Is 1864, President Lincoln was greatly bothered by the well-meant but ill-advised nats of certaia good Northern men to bring about a termination of the war. An old jeaaa from Massachusetts, very bland and entirely bald, was especially persistent and iyesomt. Agaia and again he appeared before the President, and was got rid of by y and another ingenious expedient. Ooe day, when this angel of mercy had been ig Mr. Lincoln for half an hoar, to the interruption of important business, the Presi- er swddenly rose, went to a closet, and took out of it a large bottle. * Did you ever this remedy for baldness?” he asked, holding up the bottle before his astonished stor. No; the man was obliged to confess that he never had tried it. Mr. Lincoln 4 aservant, bad the bottle wrapped up, and handed it to the bald philanthropist. ** go and rub some of that on your head. Persevere. Frey say it will ie the hair grow. Come back in about three months and report.” And almost before newt, the good man was outside of the door with the package under his arm.— irgonaut. ‘AvouT eighty years ago, in a little village in the town of East Haddam lived * Boss 2°q silversmith, from whom tne place took its name of Leesville. Boss Lee was iMdiag a new house, and as panes of glass with a ‘'bull'seye" were thought to be neatal, some of them were put into the windows, An eccentric old man, who nt himself quite a philosopher, observed these and warned the workmen of their harer ia acting possibly as buraing-glasses, and thus setting the building on fire. He we acase in point, where some shavings, left on a south window-sill of « new house, took fire from this cause while the workmen were away at dinner, and they returned just in season to save the house. ** Now,” concluded the old man, impressively, ** if that had happened in the night, the house would have been burned up ; nothing could have saved it."—Hartford Post. GENERAL JouN B, GorDox isa conspicuous figure in the South to-day, and all who have seen him will recall to memory the long scar upon the upper part of his left cheek, the memento of a sabre wound received during the war. Gordon is ismensely popular, and of his popularity Toombs was a little bit jealous. He showed this feeling when, in a campaign speech, he said : «Tf that scar were on the back of Gordon's neck instead of on his face, he wouldn't be so d——d popular.” Gordon heard of this, and a few days later, while addressing a political gathering, pot back at the famous orator as follows: “If Toombs had been where I was when I got that scar, it would be on the back of his neck instead of his face."—Argonaut. ‘THE Saunterer heard not long ago of a colored servant who went into a fish store in Richmond to buy a dinner for his master. He looked all about the place until he came to a pile of shad, and being somewhat skeptical as to their freshness, he raised one of the fishes to his face. The cealer, seeing this little act, asked indignantly : ‘* What do you mean by smelling of that fish?” “ Dida't neber smell ob de fish nohow, massa, “ Ah, indeed, and what did he tell you ?” “« Massa, I jes’ axes him fo' de news at de mouf ob de riber, an’ he says he done Only speakin' to him." clean forgot, fer he ain't seen no watah fer fo’ weeks, massa. An’ dats alll he said, sah, ‘deed it is."—Boston Budget. Ir is related that a chronic office-seeker died a few years ago, and his friends asked a well-known journalist for an epitaph for his tombstone. following, which was not, however, adopted : for which he never applied."—A/izsard. 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