Life, 1892-09-29 · page 12 of 16
Life — September 29, 1892 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Why I Am Single" – Life Magazine Satire This page satirizes an indecisive bachelor who claims to love *every type* of woman—brunettes and blondes, stout and thin girls, bold and shy women—yet uses this supposed universal appreciation as an excuse for remaining unmarried. The humor lies in the contradiction: his inability to choose stems not from high standards but from lack of decisiveness, making his "love of the whole sex" a transparent rationalization for commitment-phobia. The accompanying text shifts to serious commentary on a cholera epidemic threatening America (likely the 1892 outbreak). It praises officials like Governor Flower and Dr. Jenkins for their response, while criticizing wealthy figures and exposing weaknesses in quarantine systems. The final sentence reveals nativist anxieties: blaming "filthy foreigners" for disease, reflecting period xenophobia about immigration. The cartoon titled "A Fifth Avenue Swell" mocks wealthy New York society types.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: WHY | AM SINGLE. H, me, ‘tis a doleful condition, To be a lone bachelor through life, And all through a lack of decision In making my choice of a wife. I love the brunettes to distraction, 1 worship the sweet, blue-eyed blonde ; Thin girls have a subtle attraction, The more I with womankind mingle, The more does the question perplex ! I fear I shall still remain single ; The fact is, I love the whole sex. Milton Goldsmith. Of stout girls I'm equally fond ; I dote on a fair, white complexion, 1 dote on a dark, olive face; The short girls are my predilection, In tall girls I find winsome grace ; For bright, frisky girls I've a passion, And coy, gentle girls I adore; I like the proud lady of fashion, The plain country lass I like more; I love both the world-wise blue-stocking, And her with the untutored mind ; I like the bold girl, though she’s shocking, I like the shy maid who's refined. £60 you have sent him away forever?” S° far the authorities have dealt successfully with the threatened “Yes; he persisted in wearing diamond cholera epidemic, and at present writing seem to have slaughtered studs in his outing shirt.” all the microbes imported up to date. Governor Flower has shown him- = self a bigger man than anyone, except his intimate friends, suspected. Mr. Pierpont Morgan has given another demonstration that sordidness does not always go with great wealth. Dr. Jenkins has done his work well, in spite of vicious criticism, and the emergency has shown many things that are to the credit of Americans in particular and human nature in general, Of course greed and unscrupulousness had to come to the surface to some extent, but upon the whole the experience has been creditable. What has been, however, must be regarded as only a preliminary test. In that aspect, the experience has been a valuable one. The weak spots in our quarantine system have been discovered and the question of dis- puted authority has been raised. These matters must be looked to be- fore next Spring, when most likely the great battle will have to be fought. By that time perhaps the Government will have put up adam to stop the in- A FIFTH AVENUE SWELL. flux of filthy foreigners that has cursed this country for the past few years. comicbooks.com