Life — September 22, 1892 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE: I SRS MT NvLLv§ DISMAYED. E took her out for an ice-cream treat, His pretty, blue-eyed Sal, But fainted when he read the sign, “Cream, ninety centsa gal.” —Chicago Inter-Ocean, Dr. FritH, in his ** Reminiscences,” relates a story of the late Mr. Beckford, the author of * Vathe from Bath. "This eccentric gentleman lived at Fonthill Abbey, a few miles Every picture in the abbey was a gem, and the gardens were unrivaled by any in England ; but the owner was a recluse, and this palace of art was surrounded by 3 formidable wail seven miles in circuit, twelve feet high, and crowned by a chevaux-de- rise, and the gates were kept carefully closed. At last M connoisseur in art, found them unguarded. | He slipped chanted domain till he met a man with a spade in showed him over fruit-gardens, hot-houses, etc., then the house, This personage politel Frith’s cousin, an ardent in, and wandered about the en- hand, presumably the gardener. with its pictures, bric-d-brac, suits of armor, and other glories, and ‘ended by asking him to dinner. ford would be offended, “No, he wouldn't, No, really, 1 couldn't think of taking such a liberty. You must stop and dine with me. I am sure Mr. Beck- Tam Mr. Beckford.” The dinner was magnificent, served on massive plate, the wines of the choicest vintage, rarer still Mr. Beckford’s conversation, They talked till a fine Lovis Quatorze clock struck eleven. Then Mr. Beckford rose and left the room. The guest waited for his return, till he started to find the room in semi-darkness, and one of the solemn, powdered foot men putting out the lights.‘ Mr. Reckford has gone to bed,” said the man. The guest rose and followed the footman to the front door. That functionary opened it wide,- and said: “Mr, Beckford ordered me to present his compliments to you, sir; and I am to say that, as you found your way into Fonthill Abbey without assistance, you may find your way out again as best you can; and he hopes you will take care to avoid the bloodhounds that are let loose in the gardens every night. I wish you good evening.” The guest spent the night in the branches of the first tree that promised a safe shelter, and it was not till the sun showed itself that he made his way, terror attending each step, through the gardens into the park, and so to Bath.—drgonaut. A MEMnER of the Russian secret police, who is short-sighted, happened to notice a placard at the top of a lamp-post in St. Petersburg. Naturally his official soul was alert on the instant. “Great Scot 1” he exclaimed—in Russian, of course—‘ here's an incendiary notice about His Majesty the Czar. I must have it down.” He climbed up the post and brought it to the earth, where, by the light of the lamp above, he spelt out the following dangerous revolutionary and Nihilistic motto: “ Wet Paint."—Exchange. LITTLE Isaac: Mamma, I've got dirty hands; must I wash them, or put on a pair of gloves ?"—Le Figaro. “How did you like the parrot I sent you 2” “* Rather tough 1" “You don't mean to say you have eaten it? \Whata pity! The poor creature was such a good talker.” “Why didn't it say so ?"—AY Noticiero. “Thatexcellent antiseptic... "Medical Chronicle, Baltimore. Packer's Tar Soap, “In which the wellknown soothing and healing f Pine re skillfully, combined edi jes of Pine-tar ‘Vegetable Oils and Glycerine. » New York. A luxury for Bath and Sham- poo. Soothing and Refreshing. Destroys odors. Wards off Contagion. Violet x Lilac TOILET WATERS AND OPAL SMELLING SALTS. copynienTED CELEBRATED HATS, —AND— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bon: And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet, 22d & 234 Sts. and 18: Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago, ‘916 Chestnut St, Phila, $47 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposition, 1889. ARIS.—A private family (lady hold- ing three French diplomas) living in their own residence close to Bois de Boulogne, will receive young ladies under their care. Idiomatic French taught most careful! other accom- plishments if desired. Cheerful home, with every care and comfort. Refer- ences and terms on application to B. G., Lire Orricr, 28 W. 23d N.Y. CROUCH & FITZGERALD, NEW YORK, "{ Trunks, Bags, ae Dress Suit Cases, 0 Hat Cases, For American and ‘European Travel. 161 Broadway, below Cortlandt St. 688 Broadway, below 4th St. 701 Sixth A ; below élet St. SPAULDING& Co. (nconponatan.) Gold ana Silver Smiths, Fall Hunting and Driving. —_ We have many special designs in the ELLE OF BELSON. Whisky | way of Whips; Buckles; Belts; Dog- is distilled for the finest trade, lars; 5 3 Sec and for the purpose is bottled at the| CoUarss Flasks; Spurs; Split-Sec ond Watches—and other necessary distillery in Nelson County, Ky. Is guaranteed to be a hand made sour! paraphenalia for ‘cross-country or town riding and driving, mash of the finest quality. No whisky Broduced zanks hig! af No sist class club, hotel, bar or saloon can affo: A Hy to be without it. Adapted especially] Our ‘Suggestion Book" gives full for gentlemen's sideboards and for| information. sickness. Price $15 per case, containing 12 bottles. Received by us direct from | 86 Ave. de I’Opet the distillery. Address Paris Acker, Merrall & Condit, NEW YORK, N. Y. State and Jacksor Chleago To ignore the law of average. You may escape it and die rich and happy. Better live rich. Learn how by address- ing Penn Mutvat Li 923, 925 Chestnut St. NO BUSI- NESS If you have never tried the “ Standard Linen Writing Paper" made by the Whiting Paper Company, of Holyoke, you have been doing your correspondence under disadvan- tages. A well-worded letter, or beautiful writing loses its effect unless written upon “ Whiting’s Standard Linen.” Ask your dealer for it. He keeps it or can get it for you. sth Edition, postpald for asc. (or stampa). THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turns Grey, and the Remedy. By Prot. HARLEY PARKER, F.R. A. C.F. Lone & Co., ro Arch St., Philada., Pa. ‘Bvery one should read this little book."— Athenarwm New York Offices and Factories, 148, 150 & 152 Duane St. comicbooks.com