Life — September 8, 1892 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LI §SORS AT NvLLv§ § & You see it was for injuries received by being thrown from a horse I was riding by the doctor's advice."—New York Sun. THe VILLAGE Pastor: Johnny, you tell me you have been to Sunday School. Tue Bab Boy: Yes. si = THE VILLAGE Pastor : But, Johnny, your hair is wet. THe Bao Boy : Yes, sir; it’s a Baptist Sunday School.—/ester. Women scmetimes say curio.s things ; so do men, of courte, but women especially. Here's a conversation recently overheard in this town : WOMAN IN BLACK : Do you remember Mary Green? She was an orphan, you know. Woman IN BLUE: Yes, | remember her. But she wasa’t an orphan. “Yes, she was. What'makes you think she wasn't?” “Why, she had a sister I used to know.” “Did she? Weil, maybe she wasn’t then."—Rechester Herald. Datooist (to applicant): Yes, Ineed a man for the soda fountain, wear eye-glasses. I$ your sight defective ? APPLICANT: A little, sir, but my hearing is superb. cago Tribune. But I tee you Tecan hear a man wink.—CAi- FE - Housexeerer: How's th’s? You promised to saw some wood if I gave you a lunch. TRAMP: I recall no such promise, madame. “The idea! I told you I'd give you a lunch if you'd saw some wood, and you egreed.” ‘Pardon me, madame. Your exact words were: ‘I'll give you a lunch if you saw that wood over there by the gate.’ Exactly. That's just what I sai “Well, madame, I saw that wood by the gate as I came in."—W, Y, Weebly. Ctara: Did you accept Mr. Pelter last night ? MaubE: Why, how did you know that he proposed ? CLARA: I noticed when he came cut of the conservatory with you that the creases in his trousers had disappeaied.— Clothier and Furnisher, St. PETER: Well, what can I éo for you ? Gin StRAXGER : I dropped in to see if you didn't want our life insured. “ But we don't die here.” “Of course not ; by our system you settle in 2,000 annual payments of $100 each. If at any time after two years you don't like it, the policy has a surrender value equal to the full amount paid in, with interest added at 4 per cent.” “+ But where do the shareholders make money by such a system ?” “We invest the money paid in yearly instalments, and with the profits pay the salaries of the officers."* “* But the shareholders 2” “Oh, the shareholders! They have the privilege of visiting the locality directly across the gulf from where we now stand,"— ruth, It is agreat shock to a young married woman to realize that, when her husband comes home, it is not to tell her how much he thinks of her, but to get something to eat.— Chicago Times. : “That excellent antiseptic. . . ."—Medical Caronicle, Baltimore. Packer’s "Tar Soap, “la which the well-known soothing and healin of Pine-tar are skillfully combine Vegetable Oils and Glycerine." —Medicad Times, k. jew York. Aluxury for Bath and Sham- poo. Soothing and Refreshing. Destroys odors. Wards off eorvaienvas CELEBRATED HATS, —AND— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 224 & 234 Ste. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St, NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. ‘16 Chestnut 8t, Phila, $87 Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889, (inconporaran.) Gold ana Silver Smiths. Fall Hunting and Driving. We have many special designs in the way of Whips; Buckles; Belts; Dog: Collars; Flasks; Spurs; Split-Sec- ond Watches—and other necessary ELLE OF is distilled for the finest trade, and for the purpose is bottled at the NELSON Whisky distillery in Nelson County, Ky. Is guaranteed to be a hand made sour mash of the finest quality. No whisky produced ranks higher. "No first-class club, hotel, bar or saloon can afford paraphenalia for ’cross-country or town riding and driving. Our “Suggestion Book’? gives full Contagion. 9) 7 Lumedoore: Violet AND Lilac TOILET WATERS AND OPAL SMELLING SALTS. No, 5 (September). TALES FROM TOWN TOPIOS JUST OUT. More than 3000 leading newspapers have complimentea ns new Quarterly and pro- nounce it the spiciest, cleverest, most enter- taining publication ‘of the year. Short, amusing, racy ttories, sketches, poems, jokes, etc, A compendium of wit and fun, Ask newsdealer fur it. He can procure it direct from us, News Companies do not supply it; or send 50 cents, stamps or postal note, to TOWN TOPICS, 21 West 234 St., New York. | S CROUCH & FITZGERALD, NEW YORK, Trunks, Bara, _ Dress Suit Cases, Hat Cases, * For Ameriean and European Travel. 161 Broadway, below Cortlandt St. 688 Broadway, below 4th St. 701 Sixth Avenue, below 41st St. to be witsout it. Adapted especially for gentlemen's sideboards and for sickness. Price $15 per case, containing 12 bottles. Received by us direct from the distillery. Address Acker, Merrall & Condit, NEW YORK, N.Y. information. 86 Ave. de l’Opera Paris State and Jackson Chicago Life’s Monthly Calendar FOR SEPTEMBER. + Contains Copious Reading Matter and Pro- fuse Illustrations. Only $1 a year, postage paid. Single Copies, to cents, MITCHELL & MILLER, 28 West 23d St., New York. r8th Edition, postpaid for asc. (or stampa), THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Fails Off, Turns Gre and the Remedy. By Prof. HARLEY PARKER, F. R. A. S. , Lore & Co., 1013 Arch St., Philada., Pa. “Bvery one should read this little book."— 4fhenawm “ Whiting'’s Standard Linen Paper,” made by the Whit- ing Paper Company, of Holyoke, has the endorsement ol connoisseurs as being the best. The leading Clubs, Hotels and Societies use Whiting’s Standard Papers. If you have not tried them,do so. “ Whiting’s Standard Linen” is in each sheet. Ask your dealer for it and take no substitute. Once tried will insure constant use. New York Offices and Factories, 148, 150 & 152 Duane St. comicbooks.com