Life — September 8, 1892 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a THE MONKEY IN THE MEANTIME REPORTS THE INTERVIEW TO THE LARGER MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY, ass: ee 9: WITH THIS RESULT. t the following day he was passing the plate in the Baptist church. Where is the plate? Where is what was in it? It is talked around that this loathsome person expects to get a hoist into the legislature this fall. Heis more likely to get a hoist over the range. The clams that live in Liverpill Hollow may accept this man as a citizen. We have no further use for him. A man who will harass his fellow men as he is doing will steal. Of course he will lie. There is no need to name him, but we shall mark this article and send it to Hiram A. Hodgkins, because it will interest him, and we don't expect him to order any extra copies, either.” Editor McFlath saw that both his revolvers were loaded, and that both the printers were also—no, I mean that both the printers’ pistols were. Then he arranged his desk so as tocommand the door, and waited. Nothing happened that night, and on the next morning he came to work in a circuitous way, avoiding a patch of sage near his boarding place, which was high enough to conceal a man. He went about his business for the day with the same armament. About noon a tap came at the door, and co:kiag one pistol and putting the other on the desk, he cried, ‘* Come in.” The door opened quietly and a rather seedy man in a closely buttoned coat and plug hat entered. 137 “*Well, sir?” demanded the editor, The seedy man gave an apologetic cough. “I sup- pose you don't remember me, although I have seen you on the street.” “No.” “Yes—I mean, well, Blackstone Mapes is my name, attorney-at-law, I represent Nr. Hiram H. Hodgkins in a suit of $2s,coo damages that he has instituted against you, in consequence of an article that ap- peared—” “* Why dido’t he come himself?" “There was no need. He empowered me to say, in spite of my urging to the contrary, that if a sufficiently ample apology for the offensive terms—” “No, sir; there will be no apology.” “Oh, very well, then—" “* Hasa’t he sand enough to fight ?” “Bless my soul! Young man, you are twenty years behind the times. They don't fight in Montana any more, You're a kind of tender foot, ain't you? Come here with some of those queer dime novel ideas from the East. Better think of Mr. Hodgkins’ offer and apologize.” “ Like a sneak,” ‘Like aman, Good day.” The pistols lay on the editor's desk and he was bunched in his chair, thinking bard. Had he left the effete East for this? Had freedom of the press become 4 mere tradition ? Had things in this mountain town to be done by rule and square? Was there no under- standing of and no support for journalistic enterprise ? “It makes me tired !" he exclaimed, as he sprang to bis feet and walked around as if he were not tired at all. + Well, I'll give those fellows across the range rats, anyhow, and the first time there’s a vacancy on their paper I'll go over there.” And resuming his chair, he launched into an article on the Liver pill Hollow Flume, Presently there came another knock at the door, and at his summons to enter there filed in a deputation of citizens, They were not all conspicuously well dressed, but most of them wore collars and all were sober. Ah, he was not to be neglected, after all, The spokesman advanced and said : ‘* We've just been considering the last issue of the Revolver, Mr. McFlath, and we thought it would only be right to come up and tell you that we don't like it. Mr. Hodgkins is one of the squarest men in this town, and Red Mike, that you take such stock in, is one of the worst. We haven't got any call for that kind of writing out here, and just out of respect for the man that put his money into the paper, we thought we'd induce you to quit. We've clubbed together and bought you a ticket to a town where you'll likely get a job, because they're used to that kind of work there.” Neptolemus McFlath accepted the ticket without a speech. He considered that he ought to, It was issued to New York. : C. S. Montgomery. A POSSIBILITY. M RS. PLANKINGTON (sorrowfully): Mf my husband would only stop playing poker I could have a new bonnet like yours. Mrs. WITHERBY: If he had stopped playing with my husband before they began the last time, you might have had this. comicbooks.com