Life — July 14, 1892 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: SuorTLy before his elevation to the Bench, a certain judge entered a Continental Oxe day this week, Dr. P. , who had company to dinner, sat quietly chatting in a corner of the drawing-room, when he was told that a patient had come tose him, who was strongly recommended by some fellow-practitioners, and whose card was brought in by the page. The doctor submitted with a bad grace and stepped into bis surgery. ‘The visitor was in an advanced stage of consumption, The bronchial tubes were in a deplorable condition, and the vocal chords nearly worn out. Our physician was in the tabit of ascertaining the condition of the patient by asking him to count, and generally sonped him at thirty or thirty-five—quite long enough for the purpose. This time, also, Dr. P—— asked his patient to count. Time passed on, and the guests began to feel alarmed at his protracted absence. One of them opened the surgery door. Dr. P- had gone to sleep in his armchair, and the patient had counted up to eight thousand six bundred and forty-two |—Le Matin, Miss PINKERLY : You act as if you were uncomfortable, Mr. Tutter. Turter: Yes, Miss Pinkerly; the fact is, I have never been able to get a dress suit to ft me. Miss PINKERLY : Perhaps you don't get there early enough.—Clothier and Furnisher. hotel, and asked who was staying there. Among others the ‘‘ Duke of Blank" was mentioned. He slipped a sovereign into the hand of the head-waiter, and whi: “Put me at the table d’héte next to the Duke of Blank.” In the evening he found that he was placed at the other end of the room from the Duke, and called the head- waiter to explain. “Well, sir,” replied the official, ‘the fact is that the Duke gave me two sovereigns to put you as far from him as possible."—xchange. dant find me wasting my time trying to get even with my enemies No, indeed; you are too busy trying to get ahead of your dianapolis Journal. “LITERATURE certainly runs in the Greensmith family, iriends.—/n- The two daughters write poetry that nobody will print. the sons write plays that nobody will act, and the mother y writes novels that nob will read.” “And what does the father write?” “Oh, he writes cheques that nobody will cash."—Exchange. “« Miss FROLIQUE’s diamonds —" began the advance agent. “Can't run that for less than seven dollars a line, “Aw, Lwasn't goin’ to give you any gu rattling good story about how the gas went use the sparklers for It went.—/ndianapolis Journal, terjected the dramatic editor. ff about their being stolen, I had just a on us up in Kalamaroo, and we had to rt footlights. 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EDENIA AND WILL WOLD 26 MU; Mailed to: of the U. 8. for $1.00 portage trea BINDER Address epics of “LIFE,” Brie OF NELSON Whisky distilled for the finest trade, and for the purpose is bottled at the distillery in Nelson County, Ky. Is guaranteed to be a hand made sour mash of the finest quality. No whisky produced ranks higher. No first-class club, hotel, bar or saloon can afford to be without it. Adapted especially for gentlemen's sideboards and for sickness. Price $15 per case, containing 12 bottles. Received by us direct from the distillery. Address Acker. Merrall & Condit, NEW YORK, N. Y. 18th Edition, postpaid for asc. (or stamps). THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Of Turns Grey, and the Remedy. By Prof. HARLEY PARKER, F. R. A.S. C.F. Lone & Co., 1013 Arch St.) Philada., Pa. “Every one eboald read this little book."—Athencwm SPAULDING& Co. (imconPonaten.) Gold ana Silver Smiths. 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