Life — May 19, 1892 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Elder Sister: VM ASHAMED OF THE ATTENTIONS OF THESE MEN TO YOU. The Younger Sister: \t MUST BE MORTIFYING WHERE YOU'RE ONLY ONE YEAR OLDER THAN I am. dence, Thursday evening, nor the shooting match in the rear of our office, Friday afternoon. At the first we are to read an original poem, and upon the second occasion we modestly expect to carry off the first prize. We still have on hand about $60,000 worth of Baffin's Bay & Popocatapetl R. R. bonds which we will sell at two cents on the dollar. This is a rare chance to paper your parlors handsomely. Our recently-established bureau for diagnosing character by the hand- writing has proved a great hit. Send in your dimes. Those interested will please take notice that our singing class and poker coterie will not meet next Friday and Saturday nights, respectively, as we are billed for a Tariff speech at Onderdonk City, Friday night, and will be up before the Grand Jury Saturday night. The ladies of the church have our heartfelt thanks for the elegant gold- headed cane which they presented us, last Wednesday afternoon, as a testi- monial of their appreciation of our humble efforts to acceptably fill the office of Superintendent of the Sabbath School. Please do not forget that we are a candidate for the State Legislature and expect to get there if there is anything in hustling. Now is the time to subscribe for the Clarion. Tom P. Morgan. {> DITOR SMITH, of Philadelphia, is on record as asserting that he can learn more about the political situation in three hours at the Fifth Avenue Hotel than in reading newspapers for a year. The inevitable deduction is that Editor Smith has been reading the Philadelphia Press. comicbooks.com