Life, 1892-04-14 · page 17 of 26
Life — April 14, 1892 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces mocking social pretension and economic anxiety in early 20th-century America. **"To My Two Dollar Watch"** is a humorous poem personifying a cheap timepiece, presenting it as a faithful but embarrassing companion. The joke centers on class consciousness: the speaker is ashamed to consult his humble two-dollar watch in front of attractive women, instead pretending to borrow his servant's timepiece. The poem satirizes both the owner's vanity and the desperation of someone financially struggling enough to consider pawning his only watch. **"To Be Envied"** offers a brief anecdote about children playing on expensive new carpeting—mocking wealthy parents' conspicuous consumption and their obliviousness to their children's simple joys. **"Seasonable Advice"** (illustrated with a figure struggling against wind) offers the cryptic reminder to "keep cool," likely generic moral platitudes typical of the era. The overall theme critiques materialism, class anxiety, and the humiliation of poverty among the aspiring middle class.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE - TO MY TWO DOLLAR WATCH. BEeEsts contempt. Despised. Reviled. The butt of many a joke. I cannot say I love thee, And yet In your humble way You tell The time of day (That is, as nearly as you guess it). Thou lookest worn This morn, And I have worn thee. It’s pretty tough, I must acknowledge, To have to drag thee forth When a pretty girl Asks me the time And smile and tell her That I borrowed thee from my lackey Miss A.: DON'T YOU FEEL A Because my own had been sent HEAVY DRAUGHT ? to the Mr. Z. (absently): No; tuer Jeweler’s EEOC TOSEROTES: To have some of the diamonds = = reset. TO BE ENVIED. But thou hast been my faithful “*CTCHE firs thing the chil- friend, SEASONABLE ADVICE. dren did,” she said, — Voices from below: KEEP Cool.! “was to go on their hands and knees on = the new parlor carpet.” “Yes,” replied her husband, “1 envy them. There they are playing on velvet from their very infancy.” And I forgive thee freely This little fault. But I do wish That I could pawn thee. Tom Hall. comicbooks.com