Life — March 31, 1892 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oLDEE : WANTS. WANT another gown,” she sai *Twant an Easter bonnet, too,” a tear stood in her eye. “1 want a new Spring jacket "—then to start their daily strife Her husband murmured softly, ** and [ want another wife ” — Cloak Review. AN amusing story is told of a certain occasion in the House of Com- mons, when one Thomas Massey Massey moved that the Church of Henry VIII should get rid of the name of ** mas" in Christmas, and substitute in place of the too Romish expression the more Saxon one “tide,” thus, ** Christide.” O'Connell, who happened to be present, and who was seldom ata loss for the right word at the right time, moved that ‘‘as the honorable gentleman prized the old Saxon so much, he would do well to begin at home, namely, to Saxonize his own name, Let him do away with the ‘mass’ in ‘Thomas Massey Massey,’ and put his beloved ‘tide’ in the place of it, thus, * Thotide Tidey Tidey'!"” Needless to say that the house roared at the complete turn of the tables on the objector to the ‘mas’ in Christmas.— £xchange. “ and heaved a gentle sigh; Tue point of the following story lies in the important part which the “threepenny bit” plays in church collections in England. Canon Blank was having a friendly game of pool at the ‘squire’, and one of his opponents was Wigsby, the barrister. The canon lost a *life," and took from his pocket a'threepenny piece to pay for tt, which h placed on the edge of the table. “Oh,” said Wigsby, “I see, canon, you have had your finger in the plate!" The canon drew himself up to his full height (a good six feet), and looking the man of the law full in the face, said : “I'm surprised that you Mr, Wigsby, ‘in the presence of this re- spectable company, have the audacity to recognize your own paltry contribution !"—Argonaut. MOTHER: It's terribly late. Why in the world don't you go to bed ? Lirtie Davcirer: I’m studying my grammar lesson. ** But you said the teacher gave you only one rule to-day and that you learned that in three minutes.” “ Yes'm.” “Then why are you poring over that grammar at eleven o'clock at night?" i'm learning the ‘xceptions."—Good News. FULL-Biown Rose: What a pity, dear, you are engaged so young! You will never have the fun of refusing a man.” BUp: No; but I've had the fun of accepting one —Funny Folks. The Noblest Breakfast Food on Earth! Tux Most Novrisnine Tus Most PataTaue Tue Easiest Dicesteo Tux Quickest Cooxeo All Grocers Sell It. FREE Pamphlet» Freaty mailed to all applicants. HEALTH FOOD CO. Offices Everywhere. Head Office, 61 sth Ave.. New York. N. EB. Office, 199 Tremont St. ton. Philadelphia Office. 632 Arch St. tern Office, 1601 Wabash Ave.. WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE to -U-S- Tenants in nearly 500 office buildings mail their letters without leaving the floor on which their offices are located. THAT MEANS MAIL CHUTES. They are made only by us and our cir- culars tell about it. If not informed, it might be worth your while to become 80. THE CUTLER MFG Co., Wl owod you « ctreniar tf you write for It, ROCHESTER, N. Y. a6 Exchange St, Patentees and Sole Makers. ApX (o CELEBRATED HATS, AnD Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets and The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 170 & 18o Fifth Av bet, and and s3d Ste., 181 Broadway Cortlandt NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestaut St., Phila S27 Agencies to all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 18%. CROUCH & FITZGERALD, NEW YORK, MAKE THE MOST RELIABLE Trunks, Bags, Dress Suit Cases, Hat Cases, For American and Euro- pean Travel. 14 Cortlandt St., west of Broadway. 123 Sixth Avenue, below 42d St. 688 Broadway, below 4th St. This last store formerly at $56 Broadway. Sexp ror a Caratocur, SeauLpIne& Co Gold and Silversmiths, Have recently added to their establishment a Stationery Department which will be quite on a par with the other branches of their business, and which will, it is hoped, maintain the reputation of the house. Messrs. Spaulding & Co, are prepared to furnish the newest and most correct formsin fine Stationery. Elegantly engraved Wedding, Dinner or other Invitations in the most approved fashions. Crests, Monograms and Address Dies executed in the finest manner, Correspondence is solicited. State and Jackson Sts., Chicago, III. 36 Ave. de l'Opera, Paris. Fine CUT GLASS Aas at all times an The name of 3. HOARE & CO., Corning, is the best guarantee that intrinsic value, any piece can have, An Expert Cook Says: ‘‘All Salads based on Meat, Fish, Lobster or Potatoes are much improved by the addition of Armour’s little boiling water.” little Cook Book explains several. There are many ways of using Armour’s Extract. Extract of Beef, first diluted in a Our Send for it. Armour & Company, Chicago comicbooks.com