Life — February 18, 1892 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* Li Ce = AT SeWGORS AT NvLLd § DuRINo my second year at the Jefferson Medical College, in Phila- delphia, {had for a classmatea regular lunkhead. One of the professors was in the habit of taking the boys unawares, and quizzing them. He said to this chap, one day: ‘* How much is a dose of — ?" giving the technical name of croton oil. “A teaspoonful," was the ready reply. The professor made no comment, and the fellow soon realized that he had made a mistake. After a quarter of an hour, he said: ** Professor, I want to change my answer to that question.” ; é “It's too late, Mr. "responded the professor, looking at his watch, "* your patient's been dead fourteen minutes."—Vew Yor& World. Visitor (at the jail): Poor, poor man! May I offer you this bunch of flowers ? MAN HEHIND THE BARS: You've made a mistake, miss, The feller that killed his wife and children is in the next cell. I'm yere fur stealin’ acow.—Chicago Tribune, FE: Ove of the professors in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology made a rather neat thrust, the other day, at certain literary tendencies of our time. He was lecturing on the’ domestic relationships which exist among the lower animals, and instanced, as one of his illustra- trations, the case of a pair of mallard ducks who had lived together for three years ina state of high conjugal felicity. At the end of that time, however, a male pin-tail duck appeared upon the scene, and the lady mallard thereupon immediately forsook her former lord for the new-comer. The latter resisted her blandishments at first: but, in the end, consented to mate with her, and the unfortunate mallard was left disconsolate. ‘* This anecdote,” observed the professor, “contains, you see, all the details of the modern realistic novel, unless it be in the temporary virtue of the pin-tail duck."—Boston Journal. ‘Twist you to witness," sobbed the horse thief, under the limb, that I die with resignation.” "You hear what he says, boys." replied the leader of the vigilantes. “All in favor of accepting his resignation will please signify the same by pulling on the rope."—7ruth. SHE: Will you have your daughter instructed in the different languages ? GREaT Max: No; one tongue is sufficient for a woman,—Boston The Noblest Breakfast Food on Earth! Tue Most Novrisiine Tue Most PALATADLR Tue Easiest Dicestep Tux Quickest Coons A Ko one can legally ae theterm HEALTH FOOD unlew author. by us. All Grocers Unseruputoas Sell {mitators shoulc, okded. KE Pamphlets Freaty mailed to all applicants. HEALTH FOOD Co.'s Everywhere. Head Office, 61 sth Ave. New York. N. B. Office, 199 Tremont St., Ladies’ 178 & 180 Fifth Avenu and 18: Broadway, Palmer House, Chicago. ton, Philadelphia Office. 632 Arch St. Western Office, 1601 Wabash Ave.. Chic: ESTABLISHED 1861. + BUDD? WEDDING OUTFITS FOR GENTLEMEN. DRESS SHIRTS, GLOVES, TIES, SCARFS, Correct & Exclusive Styles. Fine Stationery rect forms. Cases. &C. Madison Square, NEW YORK Lonvon: King Edward St. Pants Ovvice: 4 Rue D'Uzes, oe! Cavvenaxra. CELEBRATED HATS, AND Round Hats and Hunnets and The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. NEW YORK. G7 Agencies in all Principal Citles Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889 Stationery Department E. P. DUTTON & CO., 31 West 23d St., Elegantly engraved Wedding Invitations in the most approved styles Choice designs in Leather Folios and Card Fancy Oxidized Silver and Brass Inks, Dresden, and Vienna. Crest Monograms and Address Dies executed in the finest manner, Spread Thin On bread and butter, and strengthens. Extract. Our little Cook Book explains several. We mail it free. Armour & Company, Chicago. SSpautding& Co. (Incorporated.) Pr (o ®old and Gilversmiths. No We are all puzzled at times in making a suitable choice of a birthday or wedding present. Our “Suggestion Book,” replete with ideas in gold, silverware and jewelry, is published to aid in making selections. We shall be pleased to mail it to anyone who will drop us a line. bet, sad and a3d Sts. ar Cortlandt St., 914 Chestnut St., Phil» State and Jackson ste, Chicago, WN. 30 @ve. de A’Opera, Baris. New York. 7 ana v ble CU in all the new and cor.| 2#6 fuest and most valuable CUT GLASS made is manufactured by J. HOARE & CO., Corning, N.Y. Armour’s Extract of Beef stimulates There are many ways of using Armour's comicbooks.com 2e* €6 Pras ——