Life — February 4, 1892 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE: XI FEBRUARY 4th, 1892. No. 475. 8 West Twenty-Tutry Street, NEw York. $5.00 a year in advance, including postage to Postage to foreign countries in the Portal Union, $1.04 a year, extra. Single copies to cents, Back numbers can be had by applying te this office, "Vol; 1., bound, $30.00: Vol, II, bound, 1.00, Back numbers, one year oid, 20 cents per copy. Vols. IIT. to VIT., inclusive, bound or in fat numbers, at $5.00 per volume, Subscribers wishing address changed will greatly facilitate matters by sending old address as well as new. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. Published every Thursday. the United States and Canada. : O itis excellent z= To have a giant's strength, but itis tyrranous To use it like a giant, ND that is one reason why Uncle Samuel should very much prefer not come to blows with Chili if he can reascnably help it. Another reason is that the Chilians are a bumptious, upstart lot, who would rather fight than eat, and seldom Some of them, moreover, are armed with the new kind ‘of rifle which will drive a single bullet through three soldiers in succession, and perforate an ordinary breastwork as easily as a knitting-needle goes into a straw-stack. In the survey of South America, Chili was badly gerrymandered and stretches along the coast after the pattern of a shoe- miles wide and some 2,000 miles Inasmuch as pretty much the whole country can be reached by missiles from the sea, the lazy Chilian’s luxurious notion is to have Uncle Sam's warships sail up and down the shore and do his fall ploughing for him with round and conical shot. It would be laborious and costly ploughing for Uncle Sam, and Lire trusts he may not have to undertake it. know when they have been adequately thrashed. string over a district six! long. * a i RE is nothing to be got from thrashing Chili, ex- cept sore heads. If we hit her ard we will be ashamed, afterwards, because she is so small. We will de ashamed, also, if we don’t hit her hard There is nothing to be made out of her t we want—no glory, no money, no territory, All we could get would be experience, and it is better to get that at second hand. The general sense of comfort in the Chilian matter is too enough. not increased by any over-confidence in the Administration's trustworthiness in giving us the facts. The Administration is looking for re-election, and it is obliged to back up its ap- pointee, Minister Egan. Under these circumstances it is not strange that some people think that possibly our -sailors misconducted themselve: wt te is why LiFe would rejoice to wel- (Aa come Patrick Egan back to his dear country’s arms, and to see Dr. Chauncey Depew speeding the shortest way to take his place. There seems no reason to doubt that Mr. Egan was carefully naturalized before he went to Chili. But as a pacificator he does not seem to be a momentous succe: Now, Dr. Depew has a won- derfully oleaginous effect upon troubled waters. After he had dined with the boss Chilians a few times and told them stories, and talked about a through line from Santiago to Chicago and New York, the Chilians would lose interest in war, and the swelling would go out of their heads, and they would apologize and settle, and we might go another quarter century without firing an angry gun. If Dr. Depew couldn't go, there’s Mr. Joseph Choate. Of course it would cost something to send Azm, but just think what it costs to fire off some of our new big guns. Even Mr. Choate talks cheaper than heavy artille Lire prefers that there should be no war, and, having that preference, it finds satisfaction in the thought that the House of Representatives is Democratic. There will have to be good cause for fighting before a Democratic House lets a Republican administration get into a fight. R. LYMAN ABBOTT says the Bible is a book of ex- periences, not of opinions. Dr. Abbott might go further and add that it is a condition, not a theory, that awaits us. ° * * M OUNTAIN bumor is sometimes rather rcecky, especially Rocky Mountain + humor, not only in being different from plain humor, but in other respects as well. Here is the Denver 7%mes indulging in the follow- ing terrible attempt: electric cars in Philadelphia seem strangely inconsistent. 8 The ‘first families’ cannot afford to patronize anything that sounds so fast as ‘electric cars.’ By the way, are there any * second families’ in Philadelphia society ?” It is a current belief in Philadel- phia that all of her “second P famili became extinct by emigrating in a body to Denver and other points in Colorado. —Philadelphia Press. Tut, tut, Philadelphia! Don’t get cross Just think how much more fun the humorists have made of Chicago and Boston. comicbooks.com