Life, 1892-01-28 · page 8 of 16
Life — January 28, 1892 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 52 This page contains two separate pieces: **"A Thwarted Ambition"** (left): A poem by James G. Burnett expressing frustration at failed aspirations to be a "funny man." The speaker laments that Fate has been unkind and he lacks the qualities needed for humor—he can't cook, his typewriter is slow, he's never known a hotel clerk, and he's unfamiliar with theater or fashionable society. The accompanying illustration shows a dejected figure amid domestic chaos, emphasizing his ordinariness. **"Life's Fairy Tales"** (right): A humorous story about Stillabel, a thirty-something maiden courted by an elderly gentleman. Through magical intervention (enchanted powder), she becomes thirty-five years younger overnight, becoming irresistibly attractive to young men—particularly the wealthy Chipper Greylock. Both pieces satirize Victorian courtship conventions and gender expectations about age, appearance, and marriageability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: A THWARTED AMBITION. WOULD I “funny man,” were a But Fate has been une kind; I have no stock in trade of jokes Such as they seem to find No one cooks onions in my that, My gas bills are not large ; The ice man makes, | must admit, A reasonable charge. My cook is all that | could wish, And hash [ never saw ; A gentler woman never lived ‘Than law is my mother-in- My coat has never carried home A hair from some stray curl; | never knew a hotel clerk, Nor had a “summer girl.” ‘Type-writers do not bother me— My own is quick and neat; The only Western girl 1 knew Had very dainty feet ‘The theatre hats I've sat behind Were of a The bathing dresses | have seen modest height ; Were never“ out of sight.” THE RIVALS. Swipesy (from de Sixt"): VM A-GOIN’ TO PUT ON DIS YOUNG LADY'S SKATES—SEE ? Rocksey (from de “Ate") To. Bella (from de Fort’): GENTLEMEN, MPAVEN'S SAKE LET THERE BE NO BLOODSHED! No, VER AIN'T, NEIDER; I'M a-Gornt GENTLEMEN, FOR The chorus girls I've known were young ; The choirs I've heard could sing ; I sometimes even like to read A dainty ** Ode to Spring.” ali One of those funny folks, And so, although to be I have to give Where t up, because n I get my jokes? James G. Burnett LIFE’S FAIRY TALES. * TILLABEL was a charming maiden of some thirty sum- <2 mers, who had the pleasure of being passionately loved by an elderly gentleman with twinkling eyes and a wide-a- wake moustache, She returned his love. but her parents re- fused to give their consent to the marriage on account of the suitor’s age, for Mr. Chipper Greylock had left s birthdays well behind him. Now i was godchild to an enterprising happened that id somewhat enthusiastic STILLAREL, resolved to So she New into Mr. Greylock’s window one sultry night, and, tapping him on the forehead as he slept, pronounced certain mysterious words, at the same time blowing an enchanted powder up his ni And lo! when he awoke the next morning he was thirty-five fairy, who, when she icarned the state of affairs. be of some assistance in the matter. years younger than when he went to bed the night before. Taking off that thirty-five years was where the enterpri ing godmother made a grave mistake. for Chipper Grey- lock had always felt his youth, even at sixty-five, and now that he was thirty he had all the dash and friskiness of a lad of twenty. He became at once a tremendous favorite with the girls, and poor Stillabel soon saw with a heavy heart that the boyish Chipper was not the man to wed a woman of thirty, And even before the year was out he had taken to him- self a blooming bride of some nineteen summers. All this comicbooks.com