Life, 1891-11-12 · page 9 of 15
Life — November 12, 1891 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Mythology for Moderns: Charon" This satire humorously updates the Greek mythological ferryman Charon (who transported souls across the River Styx) as a modern New Jersey ferry operator on the Hoboken line. The piece jokes that Charon operates like a typical monopolistic businessman—charging high fares, refusing to issue passes, and ruthlessly maximizing profit from passengers with no alternatives. The humor lies in applying classical mythology to contemporary American capitalism and transportation monopolies. A subplot mocks a Legislative committee's failed attempt to regulate Charon through a white-washing report, suggesting bureaucratic corruption. The bottom cartoon titled "The Chromo System Gone Mad" appears to reference magazine subscription sales practices, likely satirizing aggressive sales tactics of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-“ LIFE: MYTHOLOGY FOR MODERNS, CHARON, WE moderns, who may revel in the luxuries of a deck passage on the Hoboken ferry, know little of the annoyances to which the ancients were subjected when they wished to cross the River Styx. Naturally very few of them wished to patronize this ferry because the opposite ter- minus was Hell, but most of them were obliged to use it at least once. A person named Charon (a shady individual whose parents were Erebus and Nox) held a monopoly of this transportation route. The regular fare was one obolus, but when Charon had a chance to carry a load of shades from the country, he would proceed to raise the tariff to whatever he thought the traffic would bear, Although more deadheads traveled by Charon’s route than by any other, he made it an inflexible rule to grant no stop-overs, to issue no passes, and never to cut the rate below one obolus. On one occasion, however, he was obliged to carry a passenger free. A well-known anti-monopolist named Hercules, who also happened to be the John L. Sullivan of his time, came on board one day, and when Charon asked for his fare, told the ferryman to chalk it up on a piece of ice, or something to that effect. “No nonsense, now, young feller,” said Charon, gruffly. ‘ Pay, or git off." “Aw, turn off your gas," remarked Hercules, with a look of ineffable con- tempt. ‘Gita move on your old tub, or T'll put you to slzep. See?” Charon called a couple of deck hands, but, notwithstanding their assistance, he came out from the ensuing argument de- cidedly disfigured, and Hercules rode free. The next load was a party of Methodists from Syracuse (they had been eating tyrotoxicon at a Sunday-school picnic) and Charon made alll the children pay full fare, thus coming out even on the From this, dear reader, you will see that the monopolists, even those of ancient days, never get left. Quite a nice source of income to Charon was an arrangement he had with the undertakers. Unless a shade came to Charon with a certain secret chalk-mark on his hat, Charon knew that the afore- said shade had not had what the under- taker considered a sufficiently expensive funeral, and Charon thereupon compelled the shade to wander a hundred years on the bank before he would take him across, Besides paying him a royalty, the undertakers used to send Charon turkeys at Thanksgiving, and cigars at Christmas, and therefore the old man paid particular attention to this branch of his business. On one occasion an investizating committee from the Legislature was turned loose on the Styx monopoly, but Charon knew his business and secured a white-washing report. He testified that he could carry Passengers only one way and that the expense of the return trip in ballast made a big hole in the earnings. A scarcity of wars and day's business. epidemics had made it necessary to pass three dividends, and it looked very much as though the ferry would have to be put in the hands of a receiver. He enter- tained the committee at his own expense, and during their stay in town ambrosia flowed like water, and in the morningseach ~ member found at his bedside a nectar cocktail, also thoughtfully provided by Charon. Since the town of Chicago has been in existence the traffic has increased so largely that Charon has been obliged to increase his facilities. It is announced that next week a new boat will be put on the route expressly to accommodate the Chicago trade. It will have an auxiliary screw, steam steering- apparatus, and the ladies’ cabin will be upholstered in pink plush. Shades securing through tickets will be met at the wharf by a uniformed interpreter. No arrangements will be made for carrying baggage, as clothing will be found a superfluity on the opposite side. No return tickets will be sold. All incivilities on the part of employees should be reported to P. Q. Charon, Gen'l Manager. THE CHROMO SYSTEM GONE MAD. ss D*" you want to subscribe to the Gas year ?” asked the editor. “T dunno,” said Sikes. “ What yer payin’ subscribers, this year?” te, this A POLICY MAN—The insurance agent. comicbooks.com