Life — October 22, 1891 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: “WHY AIN'T YET Lert?” “Yes. 1a GOT YER UNIFORM ON, JIMMY: HAVE YER * TO WORK FOR NO TELEGRAFT COMPANY ON BRINGING UP BABIES. (Respectfully dedicated toa certain distinguished gentleman and his charming wife.) HE old proverb with re equally well to babies. before you bring it up. Next to this the most important step is the proper clothing of the infant. If it be a girl baby the first gowns should be made en fra, but not too décolleté. Soft food is recommended for the first few months of the baby’s existence, but in most cases of children under two months old, Welsh rarebits and soft shell crabs should be avoided. Exercise with heavy dumb-vells should not be permitted until the child is at least six weeks old. If the baby develops a tendency towards staying out late of nights, its latch-key should be taken away, as the night air to babies who have not finished teething. The baby should not be permitted to read Maupassant and Laura Jean Libbey before it is a year old. The former is too exciting and from the latter it might secure false and vulgar views of life. The baby should not be permitted to engage in political discussions until it has learned to talk. A silver dollar should not be used to facilitate the cutting of the baby’s teeth, It might give the offspring wrong ideas of the silver question. Atthe christening, champagne may be served to the guests, but the baby should take its portion by proxy. If you wish the baby to be good-natured, let it subscribe for a good humorous weekly. There is an excellent publi- ence to cooking a hare applies It is wise to catch your baby is injurioy 229 cation of this character issued from 28 West Twenty-third street, New York City. If the baby in question should happen to be a mere ordi- nary baby—which is not likely, of course—it is not apt to be half so interesting to your friends and acquaintances as you might fancy. It should, therefore, be kept in the nurs until it is eighteen years old. If the baby cries at night it is a sign that it is awake. ses do not use a club. The soothing-syrups sold by ggists are equally fatal and less violent in their action. If this little treatise has failed in any particular to instruct parents in the rearing of their offspring we are quite willi to answer questions on the subject by mail, provided a_five- dollar consulting fee and return postage are enclosed with the inquiry. < 44 Proves? THAT YOU HAVE ISK FOR ME. I NEED YOU TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS! He (hopeless, but seeking consolation): Now MET Tom WALKOVER, YOU HAVE NO FURTHER She: On, ves T nave. ALWAYS PLENTY. UPPOSE coal were to give out, what should we use in its place ?” asked Hicks. “ Poems,” returned his editorial friend. "TCHE WIFE mamma “cc Before we married you promised to let come to visit us as often as she pleased. THE HUSBAND: Well, she has ceased to please. his life insured.” “ Why, then, do you find fault with him?” “Because he did ss 1’ husband has just ha I not have his death insured.” A FEAST OF REASON—To entertain an idea. comicbooks.com