Life — September 3, 1891 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE T SEISSERS AT WLLs! CAREFULLY REHEARSEDO. S the time draws near For guests to depart, The landlord's smile Is a work of art. —New York Journal. THE late A. T. Stewart was harassed by a certain treasury decision which vastly increased his payments of duties. His lawyer called one day about another matter. "Stewart spoke in an exasperated way about the treasury decision. ‘Let me see the decision,” said the lawyer. After reading it through, he said: ‘This law speaks of ‘all-silk’ garments. Why don't you have a thread of worsted run into these goods when they are made abroad?" ** Will that come within the new law 2” asked the great merchant. ‘+ Certainly.” ‘ How much do you want for that opinion 2” asked Stewart a few months later.“ Fifty thousand dollars,” said the lawyer. And he got it. He was modest, too, but a dollar went further in those days than it does now. Stewart, years after, told his legal adviser that the casual suggestion made that day had been worth over one million five hundred thousand dollars to the merchant.—Argonaut, Fox Parest: I fear, young man, that you seek my daughter's hand solely for her wealth. Youxe MAN: Well, look at her candidly and kindly mention what other qualifications she possesses, will you ?—7ruth. 125 Whew Mr. David Dear (winner of the Queen's Prize at Bisley this year) was a law student, he once attended an home.” On the servant asking his name, he replied, ** David Dear.” The girl blushed, and said: “Yes, yes; but what is your other name, sir?” He assured her he had no other name. But it was of no use; the servant knew better, and announced him as Mr. David."—Exchange. Youn ee : tastes Wir “Ai imagination ; it says in the cookery-book that it tastes excellent !—Nehelspalter. Oxe day, while dining at the house of a friend, the Rev. C. H. Spurgeon was heard to say that he had lived for three months on noth- ing but milk. This gave rise among the company to several questions asto what prcrented him from eating solid food, from what complaint he was suffering, how his strength was maintained, what sort of milk was it, and in what quantity did he take it. After everyone's curiosity was fully aroused, Mr. Spurgeon, with a twinkle of fun in his dark eyes, said, ‘Ask my mother."—Exchange. My dear Melanie, I must say that this pudding A TRAVELER in Texas says that he was riding along a cattle-trail near the New Mexico line, when he met a rather pompous looking native of the region, who introduced himself as Colonel Higgins, of Devil's River. "' Were you a colonel in the Confederate army?” the traveler asked. ‘No, sah.” “On the Union side, then?” * No, sah; nevah was in no wah.” Belong to the Texas Rangers?” 9, sah ; Ido not.” Ah, I'see; you command one of the State militia regiments." ‘No, sah; Tdon't. Don’t know nothing about soldiering.” * Where, then, aid yo u get the rank of colonel?” ‘+ I'se a kunnel by marri: sah.” marriage? How's that?” married the widow o kunnel, ab ‘Kunnel Thompson, of Waco,”"—Argonaut. MACKINTOSH| OUTFITS for those sojourning at the mount- ains or by the seashore. Send for descriptive book or pay conrmenr=s. CELEBRATED HATS, —Ane Ladies’ Round Oat The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 1f0 Fifth Avenu: and 18: Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. $7 Agencies in all Principal Citie Gata Medal Awarded. Paris Repostiog. io CURE_F OR a visit to the HODCMAN RUBBER COMPANY, 459 & 461 Broadway, cor. Grand St. and 21 West 28d St., NEW YORK. ESTABLISHED + BUDD #3 WEDDING OUTFITS FOR GENTLEMEN. DRESS SHIRTS, GLOVES, TIES, SCARFS, &c. Correct and Exclusive Styles. 186l. PISO’S aul StiSton OF Madison Square, NEW YORK. Panis Orrice: 4 Rue D'Uzes. Lowpon : ‘King Edward St. If aman isdrowsy in the day time after a good night's sicep, there's indizes- tion and stomach disorder. BEECTAM’S Sz removing the waste matter which is clog- Sz the system, wilt Cure all Billous and PIL Wsordere arteing from Im- Digestion, and will relieve Bick Menduches Prepared only by Thos. Beecham, St.Helens, Lancashire, England. ggists, or tailed by B.'P. ALLEN ‘O-y 365 Canal St., New York, on receipt of pees, 8 eens 7 and Bonnets and bet. 22d and ag4 Ste, THE ECONOMY OF FOOTWEAR. An Ilustrated Pamphlet interesting to every one who wears shoes, sent free on receipt of name and address on postal card. Box s51, Brockton, “MUSEUM OF FINE ARTS, BOSTON. School of Drawing and Painting. ‘The sixteenth year of this school opens Sept. y8gt, Courses in drawing from the cast and from life,in painting, aad Y Secorente design, tures ‘on anatomy t Moe POE tee W Benson. C J Linden Smith, (Decoration), ). and ‘ross (Pers! tre), *Bunils are allowed the Sieve gat the galler- fluseum. For circulars giving detailed address Elizabeth Lomb: Extract of BEEF, Manager. Used by All Good 7 Cooks the Year Round. fend to ARMOUE & 00. Chicago, for Cook Book showing use of Armour’s Extrac Se comicbooks.com